


Happy Endings Aren't Easy

by xPenguinQueenx



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: ChanSaw is endgame, Cinnamon Roll McNamara, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, F/M, I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, M/M, Slow Burn, Teen Angst, Time Travel Fix-It, Veronica has PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2018-12-19 06:18:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 41,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xPenguinQueenx/pseuds/xPenguinQueenx
Summary: Veronica is thrust into the past where all her dead classmates are alive and she's very confused. When given a strange hourglass and instructions on how to save her friends, she decides to try her best to fix her past mistakes. Also, shes very confused as to why Heather Chandler is staring at her constantly.





	1. Let's do the Time Warp

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck me gently with a ChanSaw, what have I created?

“-ronica? Veronica, wake up!” The voice draws me to consciousness, but I don’t open my eyes. There’s only four people who come to check on me at home and I don’t think I can see any of them today. Considering the loudness of the voice, it can’t be McNamara or Martha, and its certainly female which rules out my father. That leaves my mother…. But it doesn’t sound like my mother. Actually, it sounds like… nooo not today. Kurt and Ram wouldn’t leave last night so I barely slept. I was hoping to at least have a quiet morning.

“What do you want, Heather?” I raise my gaze to meet her hardened one. And it’s in that moment that I realize I am not in bed, nor am I at home. I’m sitting in the school cafeteria with Heather, Heather, and, Heather. But an alive Heather? What the hell is going on?

“I’ll excuse your tone since it’s obvious you’re out of it today, _Ronnie_.” Chandler hisses the nickname as if it’s supposed to offend me in some way. She raises her eyebrow as if waiting for a response from me and I can only sit there in silence because what am I supposed to say to a girl that I vividly remember accidentally killing and being haunted by suddenly standing VERY MUCH ALIVE in front of me. Duke scoffs in my direction, muttering a soft, “fucking loser.” Low enough for only my ears to hear. And possibly McNamara’s as well considering the small frown on her face that appears.

I start to stutter out a reply only to be saved by a clattering in the distance.

“Why don’t you pick that up, nerd?” an obnoxious, but very familiar voice is heard, followed by an equally recognizable laugh. A boy leans down to pick up his fallen tray and I see them both.

Shit. Did I die in my sleep last night? Is this hell? What is going on?

“I’m sorry, Heather.” I say, standing rather abruptly, “I’m not feeling well. I-I’ll be back.”

I cross the cafeteria, thankful that all eyes are on Kurt, Ram, and the poor kid they’ve claimed their victim of the day. Except for the Heathers who I’m assuming are most likely watching me, but I don’t dare look back. Instead, I march down the hallway, making my way to the girl’s bathroom because I really was telling Chandler the truth when I said I wasn’t feeling well. Seeing the dead suddenly alive will make you strangely sick to your stomach. They don't look like the ghostly versions of themselves I've gotten used to.

I’m nearly there when I bump into someone.

“Sorry,” I rush out, trying to move towards the bathroom once again.

“No worries,” comes the smooth reply, stopping me in my tracks. I turn, already knowing who will be standing there. And it’s him. It doesn’t make sense because I watched him die, but he’s standing right here.

“Can I ask you a dumb question?” I ask him before he can leave.

His eyebrows rise, whether in amusement or surprise that I’m still talking to him, I’m not sure, ”there are no dumb questions.” He then gives me a nod as if to say _go on._

I contemplate the situation for a moment before continuing, “do you know who I am?”

He chuckles a little, spurting out a, “of course!” My eyes light up in relief. Sure, I don’t necessarily trust JD anymore, but I’ll take any information he can give me, “everyone knows the newest Heather. You, Veronica Sawyer, are important here. Although, I don’t really know why you’re still called the Heathers if your name isn’t Heather.”

Any hope I had was lost the longer I listened to him. I have no idea what’s going on and the only person I thought that might be able to help me has no idea what’s going on. Maybe I really am in hell. Forced to relive high school and be face to face with the people I killed every day.

“Right, thanks, JD.” His mouth opens a little and this time it’s definitely surprise on his face.

“Wait, how do you know _my_ name?” He says with slight suspicion, but mostly intrigue.

'We fell in love and you killed my friends' is what is at the edge of my mind, but unless I want to be sent off to the psych ward then that should stay inside, “You’re the new kid,” is what comes out of my mouth instead. I shrug my shoulders in what I hope looks nonchalant.

He nods, accepting my answer, and waves a goodbye, “It was nice meeting you, Veronica Sawyer.” Not offering a goodbye of my own, I forcefully open the bathroom door and slide inside, making sure to stop and lock it behind me. I step up to one of the sinks, staring at my reflection. I look like the girl before the bomb and the sleepless nights. None of the marks from JD’s bomb are there and the bags under my eyes are gone.

“Perhaps you would like me to explain?”

I turn to find someone in the stall that I had once deemed Duke’s ‘vomit stall’. I’m not entirely surprised I missed someone with how I rushed in here, but I could have sworn it was just me in the room, ”what?”

The person steps out and I can’t help but stare. They’re beautiful, but something screams danger. No, not danger. Power. They are in a robe coving most of their body, but their face is on display. They have dark, sad eyes, but light, gray hair that seems to shine. Their mouth is set in a thin line.

“I’ve been trying to find a way for you to fix all of this for quite a while now. I figured the only way to do that in the end would be if I sent you back to the start. This is not how your story was supposed to go, Veronica,” They stop for a moment, pulling something out of their robe. It’s…an hourglass. They try to hand it to me. Only for me to step away from the stranger, visibly freaked out at this point, “Veronica, please calm down. You saw them all out there did you not?”

Are they talking about Chandler? And Kurt and Ram? And JD?

“They’re supposed to be dead.” I tell them, assuming they know what’s going on. They must.

They nod, “They were dead. But that’s all in the future. It’s a future you can stop if you would like the chance.” They shove the hourglass towards me once more and this time I take it with shaky hands. I think I understand what this person is trying to tell me, but that’s…. impossible, isn’t it? But so is dead people coming back to life. I could have also dreamed all of it, but then how would this person know about everything?

“So,” I start, swallowing a lump in my throat,” I’m in the past right now?” I look to this mysterious individual for confirmation and they nod at me,’ and you want me to, What? Fix everything I messed up? Do the right thing?

They stare at me for an unnerving moment, expression never changing with dark eyes boring into mine. Finally, they respond, “I’m not sure I care about right or wrong.” This takes me off guard. Aren’t most stories about the time traveler supposed to be about them being a hero that sacrifices happiness for others or something along those lines?

“What’s the point of sending me back then?” I can’t help but think that there is a catch somewhere. This stranger wouldn’t just send me back for no reason.

This time there is no hesitation before they respond,” I see everything and everyone. Humans live short and meaningless lives and I don’t notice most. You however.... have given me great entertainment. I was sad to see that things ended the way they did. Think of this as a gift from me. A…. Thank you…. If you will.”

I sit in shock for a moment. This stranger finally admitted what I suspected from the beginning. They are not human,” Who are you?”

They hum for a moment before letting out a short huff, “You’re smart, I was hoping you would figure it out yourself.” They nod pointedly towards me and it takes me a moment to realize that it isn’t me, but the hourglass that’s being pointed towards.

I furrow my brows in thought. Hourglass, future, past,” Time?” I question them, looking back up, “You’re time?”

They hum again. But this time it seems almost as if they’re praising me,” I’m giving you a chance to fix things because you have become my favorite human to come into existence in the past couple hundred years. But,” They stop, looking serious and it scares me for a moment, “you will have one chance only. I won’t give you another. I don’t give gifts often so make good on this one.”

I’m still incredibly overwhelmed and still not completely sure this is happening, but I manage to let out a small thank you, but then I remember the hourglass in my hands, “Wait, what’s this for?” I raise the hourglass toward them in a questioning manner.

“That, Veronica, has two purposes. The first, is merely to summon me if you need me. I will be around if you ever have questions or need advice about this universe or the people in it.”

“And the second?”

Time stops once again, motioning towards the hourglass. I glance down to find a piece of sand falling from the top to the bottom, “It will count down to the possible death of one of your friends.”

I feel my body go cold at the words.

“Do not fear, Veronica. You still have a couple weeks until the first possible death.”

“So, I just keep JD away from Chandler, right? And then the first death will be avoided?”

Time shakes his head sadly at me, “I never said Heather Chandler would be the first possible death. You’ve already altered this world by meeting Jason Dean early. There is no telling who the first possible death will be now.”

A bell rings and Time decides it is their time to depart, “I will be around, Veronica. For now, try to be happy.”

Well…. Shit.


	2. Time for Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica gains an unexpected friend

After my talk with Time in the bathroom, I met back up with the Heathers with the hourglass stuffed in my backpack. Chandler was not happy with me for just walking away from them with no explanation (I kind of gave them an explanation though) and Duke seemed like she was getting ready for Chandler to start yelling with a smug smile on her face. And that’s exactly what Chandler did. I think the yelling lasted for almost a whole five minutes, but I tuned out at some point so I can’t be completely sure. It isn’t until McNamara nudges my shoulder that I realize Chandler has been waiting for me to answer her. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch the question.

“Sorry. What did you say, Heather?” She seems irritated to be repeating herself, but she asks me once again.

“I asked if you were okay.” Her jaw is clenched, but I would almost say is wasn’t in anger. It’s almost like she’s genuinely worried about me. Which, after getting to know ghost Chandler a bit better, it doesn’t seem completely unlikely. Heather Chandler may be a bitch, but she’s loyal to the people she cares about. Not that she would ever admit that to anyone of course.

I nod my head in confirmation, “Yeah, I’ve just been a bit sick today is all.”

I hear a scoff and turn to see Duke eyeing me suspiciously, “You really shouldn’t be lecturing me about what I do in the bathroom if you’re just going to do the exact same thing.”

“Shut up, Heather!” Chandler has it out before I can even open my mouth to retort. Duke really thinks I went to the bathroom to throw up my lunch? I mean, I thought I might for a second there, but I wasn’t going to shove my finger down my throat.

“Sorry, Heather,” Duke puts her head down.

McNamara puts her hand on my shoulder and asks me if I’m really okay. After confirming my health status with her, Chandler interrupts us, “Veronica, write a note to get us out of class for the rest of the day. We’re taking you home.”

I glance at her in surprise. This didn’t happen in the past… or present?... let’s just say other timeline. I know I’ve already changed things, but can such little things cause such large ripples? “Uh, yeah. Okay.”

I grab my pen and paper and start forging the note to get us out for the day.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

We end up at Chandler’s house and strangely enough, her mother greets us at the door. She’s vaguely interested in why the four of us aren’t at school, but Chandler offers a short, “Veronica is sick” and her mother asks no further questions. We’re ushered to Chandler’s overly large bedroom by the girl herself. Duke, McNamara, and Chandler take a spot on the bed as if they’ve done this hundreds of times before, and they probably have, while I stand, unsure of where I should be.

McNamara makes the decision for me, patting the spot in between her and Chandler.” Come on, Ronnie. Don’t just stand there.”

I glance a Chandler as to ask permission and she merely looks back in annoyance,” I wouldn’t have invited you here if I was going to make you stand there all night.”

“Right,” I say drawing out the word, making it sound much more sarcastic than I intended it to. It makes Chandler narrow her eyes at me. I hurry and take my seat before I can make a mess of anything with my smart mouth.

“So, why did we take the rest of the day off exactly?” I ask. Not that I mind too much. Of course, I still want to go somewhere great like Brown and skipping school is frowned upon, but after everything that’s happened, I think I can afford a small break.

“Because Heather has a lady bon-“Duke’s words are cut off by Chandler’s famous,

“Shut up, Heather!”

McNamara giggles and I’m left feeling completely out of the loop and it’s not the first time since I’ve met the Heathers.

I glance at Duke and I’m surprised to find her rolling her eyes good heartedly. I’ve always known Chandler and Duke have had a strange relationship, but it seems like it’s only actually complicated at school and parties. Now that we’re in the safety of Chandler’s home without prying eyes, it seems like the girls are almost….  Happy? They seem less tense for sure. Maybe it’ll be easier saving everyone than I thought if this is how they act outside of their popularity. I just assumed Duke was a mega bitch at all times.

Duke catches my gaze on her and she scowls, as if offended that I would dare stare at her. Ahhh. There's the Duke I know and tolerate.

“We should play a game!” McNamara interrupts my stare off with Duke with her outburst. She draws the attention of the other two Heathers as well, “Truth or Dare!”

“Hmm,” Chandler puts her hand on her chin. She seems to be thinking about it, “No,” and just like that McNamara’s face falls. Not liking to see her upset, I go to back up her idea, but Chandler continues, “We’ll play truth or drink.”

McNamara squeals happily while also most likely causing me permanent ear damage. I’ve come to realize that the normally shy girl is rather loud when she’s around people she’s comfortable with. When she would join Martha and I for movie nights she was always like this, but to my knowledge she wasn’t like this with Duke after Chandler’s death. Did Chandler dying really put that much of a rift between them? I mean, I know Duke has always been power hungry, but to just push McNamara away to the point of… no. The suicide scare hasn’t happened this time around. And I’m going to keep it that way.

“Heather,” Chandler, grabbing McNamara by the wrist, pulls her up with her from the bed, “I’ll distract my mother and you can grab the alcohol.”

“Bu-“ Chandler doesn’t give her time to protest, merely drags her out of the room, explaining her plan to the smaller girl.

Hearing a squeak from the bed, I realize I have been left alone with the one Heather that has always seemed to irrationally hate me. She is shuffling away from me on the bed as if just being near me is terrible. Suddenly, I’m struck with the need to know where this hatred comes from.

“What did I do?” I ask her before my brain can even think. She glares at me, her eyebrows set low in annoyance. I continue, “What did I do to make you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you,” Her glare lessens but the look of annoyance is still there. She props herself up on the palm of her hand, elbow digging into her leg, “I fought to be exactly where I am. You came out of nowhere, bailed us out of trouble once, and now everyone thinks you’re hot shit. So, I don’t necessarily like you, but I don’t hate you.”

Well, when she puts it like that I probably wouldn’t like me very much either.

“I get it,” I tell her. She looks at me once again, this time in confusion, “I do. I didn’t want the popularity, but I get why it’s so appealing. And I get why you fight so hard for it, but it isn’t everything, Heather,” she opens her mouth to retort, but I stick my hand up to stop her, “It really isn’t. We’re seniors. The popularity isn’t going to matter for much longer because we’re graduating soon. What’s going to matter after all this are your friends.”

Duke stares at me for a moment with a blank face, giving no emotion away. Eventually, she offers me a sad smile and in a low voice, “We both know I don’t have friends, Veronica.”

“You have the Heathers,” I offer.

“We’re not friends,” is the curt reply.

“Have you told _them_ that?” I ask her, “You can say a lot about those two, but they would do a lot for you, Duke.”

She looks down at her hands, fingers in a tangled mess in her lap. She fidgets for a moment, letting out a small sigh, “Yes, I suppose we’re all friends.”

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, I offer her my hand, “And since I’m a Heather, I suppose that makes us friends too?”

She looks at my hand in disbelief and… possibly anger? Or maybe it’s shock. I’ve never been able to get a good read on Duke before.

Slowly reaching up, she takes my offered hand with her own and gives one small, short shake. She nods her head at me, but says nothing. Her face betrays no emotions so I can’t be sure exactly what she things of our new friendship.

“So, wha-“but I’m cut off by the return of Chandler and McNamara who rush into the bedroom. The former slamming the door while the latter carries the alcohol.

“Guess who got vodka!”

“Heather! Be quiet or my mother will hear you!”

I take another quick glance at Duke who is staring at Chandler and McNamara with a small smile. She catches my gaze and her smile falls slightly, before quickly widening once again. She gives me a quick nod before she jumps up from the bed, “You bitches kept us waiting long enough. Ronnie and I thought we were going to have to go looking for you.”

Chandler stops in her tracks at the casual use of the nickname and looks at McNamara who also looks confused. She looks over to me as if to ask _what the hell is that about?_

I shrug my shoulders, “So about this game?”

“Oh!” McNamara lays the drinks down on the ground, confusion forgotten.

We end up playing Truth or Drink for hours and it turns out to be very little truth and a lot of drink.

Duke and I don’t talk about our new friendship.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Duke and I love the idea of Duke and Veronica being good friends. So expect a lot of Duke/ Veronica interactions in this story.


	3. Questions and Not-Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica has a talk with time and she doesn't get the answers she wants.

A scream. A curse. An explosion.

The nightmares never go away and last night was no exception. I wake in a cold sweat, panting. At first, I don’t recognize where I am and it takes me a moment to realize that I’m at Heather Chandler’s house.  We all lay in a heap in the floor, the other three still passed out from last night’s drinking. Not sure I want to stick around after having such vivid nightmares, I slowly sit up, dragging my arm out from under McNamara’s head. I set her down gently and stand, still slightly wobbly.  

Gaining my balance back, I make my way to the door, opening it with a slight creek. Before I slip out there’s a small, “Ronnie?” I glance back to see McNamara’s confused eyes watching me, “wheres ya goin?”

Not having the heart to tell her, or anyone for that matter, about the nightmares I make up a quick excuse, “Mom needs me home early. I’ll see you later, okay?”

She gives me a small nod before laying her head back down.

I slip out of the room and downstairs. I think I catch a glimpse of Mrs. Chandler in the kitchen, but I don’t stop to chat. I make my way out, stopping only for my school bag, and head home. It’s a good thing we stopped by my house yesterday to let my parents know that I might stay with the Heathers last night. If I have my days correct then it’s around now that my mother starts to dislike the Heathers. Maybe the girls taking me home and giving her a heads up will give them some good points in her book.  I’m not sure Dad cared either way…. But he’s never been the brightest crayon in the box.

So, this means it’s been maybe two weeks since I’ve become a Heather. I’m not one hundred percent sure on the time, but that seems to be right. There’s a lot I skipped out on my first few weeks as a Heather that I should probably take part of if I want to be closer to the Heathers, but I also want to keep my friendship with Martha. Maybe Chandler will ease up on her…. Yeah right.

“Yo, Veronica!” A car pulls up to the sidewalk, pulling me out of my thoughts completely.

“Oh,” It’s still strange to see them. It’s strange to see Chandler, too, but Chandler was always around afterwards. I got used to talking to her, “hey, Kurt. Hey, Ram.’

“What are you doing out alone? Where’s the other Heathers?” Ram is leaning over Kurt in the driver’s seat to talk to me. Kurt looks slightly uncomfortable to have Ram practically on top of him.

“You guys do know we aren’t together 24/7, right?” I drawl sarcastically at the two boys.

“But Kurt and I are always together.” Is Ram’s response. He says it in a tone that seems to say _duh._

Kurt shoves Ram back slightly and Ram gets the point, sitting back in his seat. Looking closer, it seems that Kurt has a slight pink tint to his cheeks, but I can’t be sure if it’s from his best friend’s response or his question for me, “you need a ride somewhere?”

I take a moment to assess my situation. I’m still quite a way from home and I _am_ slightly hungover. Deciding not to drink much, I had most of the night’s truths, including a strange one from Chandler, _“Do you like the taste of cherry lipgloss?”_

Looking at Kurt, it seems that his offer is genuine so I decide I should get out of the heat before I barf on the side of the road. I nod and open the back door behind the driver’s seat. I set my things down and scoot in. I give Kurt my address and he takes off in the correct direction. We make small talk and once again I am taken off guard by how different people can be when they aren’t faced with social responsibilities. They’re almost like two giant puppies.

“No! Dude, Ram, if zombies attacked we would totally survive. Right, Veronica?” Kurt, I don’t think you and Ram have enough brains combined to attract any zombies.

“Yeah, the two of you would definitely survive.” Not that I have the heart to tell them that.

Kurt and Ram discuss their zombie survival skills for the rest of the ride with me occasionally throwing in my opinion. There's a couple lewd comments from Ram, but he backs off when he seems to notice how genuinely uncomfortable it makes me. It's a bit strange, but I don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

 

_“A football with a bomb!”_

_“Ram, yes!”_

_“And what are you going to do when that bomb attracts more zombies?”_

_“….”_

_“Blow up even more zombies!”_

_“Oh my god…”_

* * *

 

Kurt and Ram dropped me off at home and I promised to pay them back with a forgery of their choice. 

My mother and father greet me when I arrive home with freshly cooked breakfast. I give them both quick hugs and promise to eat with them after I’m done getting ready for the day. I rush up to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me and dropping my bag to the floor. I quickly lose yesterday’s clothes and change into a new set that the Heathers would most definitely not approve of.

I put my hand on the door handle before stopping, suddenly remembering what’s in my bag.

I step away from the door and kneel down to the bag on the ground. I unzip the top zipper to find the hourglass at the very top, right where I left it. I take the odd object out and take it over to my bed, sitting down at the edge. I turn the hourglass over in my hands in confusion.

How am I supposed to summon time? Do I just… tap it?

I knock on the top of it with my knuckles a few time, hoping that will do something, but nothing happens. I let out a loud sigh of annoyance and shake it slightly. This causes a slight downpour of sand and I panic.

“No no no!!! Take it back! I didn’t mean to do that!” I set the hourglass on the bed and I stand, making sure nothing moves it in any way, “Argghhh!” my hands come to grip my hair in frustration.

“Maybe you shouldn’t shake the death timer,” a familiar voice makes me turn and I’m once again face to face with Time.

“Great advice! Maybe you should have told me _before_ I did it.”

“I thought it would have been obvious.” They tell me.

I mean, yes, it is pretty obvious that you shouldn’t shake the timer that counts down the death of your sorta friends, but I’m never admitting that to Time. It’s not like I’ve ever claimed to make the smartest decisions anyways and if they’ve watched me for as long as they’ve claimed to then they should know this about me.

“I have some questions.” I tell them.

“I assumed as much,” is the only response I get.

I nod and walk back over to the other side of the room, setting the hourglass on my nightstand before I flop back onto the edge of my bed once again. I gesture towards the desk chair in the corner of the room, “you can sit if you’d like.”

“That’s all right. I’d rather stand.” and so Time remains standing awkwardly in front of me.

We sit in silence for a moment, both of us merely staring, assessing one another. Time doesn’t necessarily scare me with their presence, they just… overwhelm me. The fact that I’m standing, well sitting, in front of a non-human being is incredibly strange.

“So,” I start,” I understand that I get another chance to save everyone, but what I don’t understand is how. I mean, how will I know who is going to be the person the hourglass is counting down to? And how am I supposed to stop it?”

Time’s expression never really changes and he seems to always have a monotonous voice when he speaks, “You will have to pay close attention to all of them. There will be clues for you to find. Those clues will tell who the victim will be and how you can help.’

My mouth opens in disbelief. What is this cryptic bullshit? When he said he was going to help me I expected actual help, not this.

“So I need to play Nancy Drew is what you’re saying?” I can’t help the sarcasm that enters my voice. I’m just so irritated that this is the advice I’ve been given.

I hear a small rumble and I think it’s a laugh, but I can’t be sure.

“You’re upset that I won’t tell you more,” he observes

“Yeah, I kind of am,” is all I respond. No reason to lie to them, I suppose.

“I told you that I wanted to give you a second chance because you kept me entertained. With that being said, I would like for you to find your happiness this time around, but I would also like for you to keep me entertained once again and if I just give you the answers then it won’t be very fun will it?” I stare at them in disbelief. I feel slightly betrayed, “Of course, I don’t have all the answers for you. I truly don’t know the order that your little friends will die. But there are some things I might not tell you just because I don’t feel like it.”

“So, I guess you aren’t the good guy here then.” it’s more of a statement than a question, but he gives me an answer anyways.

“I told you. I don’t believe in wrong or right.”

I give a small grunt and this time I’m certain the rumble coming from Time is a laugh. I glare at them until the sound stops and is replaced with a exasperated sigh.

“Look,” Time calls out to me, “ I’ll tell you this. You have quite a few weeks until the first death. I can’t give you an exact time.”

“Because you can’t or you don’t want to?” it comes out much harsher than I intended.

Time’s face contorts into what I assume is the closest thing to what he expresses as anger,” I can not help you with this.”

“You are literally Time and you can’t help me with _time_?” I hiss the last word. My anger is starting to get to me.

“You should not question me on things you do not understand. Time is not a simple thing,” Time slowly walks by and passes me, heading straight for the hourglass. Time puts their hand on the very top and looks to me again, “I must leave for now. Good luck Veronica.”

They leave with a quick, bright light and suddenly I’m the only person in the room.

“Great job, Veronica. You pissed off the only person who can help you…. And now you’re talking to yourself!”

Vaguely, I wonder if my parents heard any of my screams.

* * *

 

 

After breakfast with my parents, I attempt to finish my homework for the weekend in case the Heathers decide that we have plans this weekend. I’m actually surprised I haven’t gotten a call from Chandler yet, which is why I tend to stay near our phone at home.

A shrill ringing interrupts my thoughts.

Speak of the devil. Picking up the phone, I bring it to my ear ready to greet whoever is on the other side, “Hel-”

“I’m picking you up in 20 minutes. Look presentable.” Okay. Not the Heather I was expecting, but I can deal with this.

“And are McNamara and Chandler coming as well?” I ask the other girl.

“No. They’re hungover still.” She offers me nothing else and sounds slightly irritated, like this information should be obvious.

“Can I at least ask where we’re going?” I ask her, trying to get any information I can.

“No.” and with that Duke hangs up. I honestly expected nothing less.

Duke is either taking this new friendship thing seriously or she's coming to kill me and take my body away. I’m hoping for the former, but honestly, at this point either would be welcome.

Slowly setting my homework to the side, I stand, mentally preparing myself for the day ahead. A day alone with only Duke. Oh boy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time is kind of a dick, but also isn't. It's complicated. 
> 
> Also, Updates for chapter 4 and 5 will probably come quick as well, but after that expect them to come weekly most likely. My classes and job keep me busy,but I'm trying to get chapters out when I can for you guys.


	4. Dreams of the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie and friends

“I’ll admit, when you picked me up I didn’t think you were taking me to a bookstore,” I sit at one of the many tables in the large room with the one and only Heather Duke. As it turns out, I would be able to finish my homework. Duke told me to bring any I had with me and although confused, I did as she said. We now sit between the many rows of bookshelves finishing our homework together.

“I thought you guys got other people to do your work for you?” My words distract her from her work, making her pause and glance up at me.

She sets her pencil down before replying, “That’s more of Heather and Heather’s thing. I actually enjoy school,” Her brows furrow slightly, “Well, english. I enjoy english.”

“So, you like grammar? Or…” I trail off hoping she’ll continue. That could mean lots of things. She could like poetry or books or anything really.

“I like...reading...but,” She stops for a moment before looking at me once again, this time with a small glare. I take it as a warning to keep my mouth shut about whatever she’s about to tell me, “ I just enjoy everything when it comes to words, okay? I enjoy communication.”

My shock at her words must show because the girl glances away, refusing to look at me.

“Ya know, Duke," she finally looks at me again as I speak, “for someone who loves communication, you’re shit at it.”She flushes a dark red at that. Most likely from anger, but possibly from embarrassment as well, “Hey, isn’t red supposed to be Chandler’s color?”

“Hah,” she scoffs at me, “ you would know, wouldn’t you?”

“What?” Now she just has me confused.

“Oh please, Veronica, like you don’t-” but she stops mid sentence, taking my face in with her dark eyes, “oh shit. You have no idea.” And for a moment Duke actually looks worried. I'm not exactly sure why she would be worried though.

“Apparently not. What are we talking about?” I’m usually lost in conversations with the Heathers, but not when those conversations are apparently about _me._

She shakes her head, quite violently might I add, before completely changing the subject, “So Heather is talking about taking you to your first party early.”

I want to go back to the previous subject, but something tells me that I would merely get obnoxious glares instead from the green Heather.

“How early?” That party is what caused Chandler’s death last time. Well, I guess JD and I caused it…. But the party was the catalyst.

“Friday most likely,” she tells me closing her open book on the table. She sets her things to the side and I do the same to give her my attention since it seems that she wants to talk about….something. I’m not sure what yet.

“That’ll be fun,” I say nodding.

She nods back and soon we’re both sitting in an awkward silence that neither of us know how to break. I shuffle in my seat, visibly uncomfortable.

It’s Duke that eventually breaks the growing silence, “I’m not great at this whole friends thing. I’m a giant bitch actually, but I’d like to try.”

“Well I thought we already cleared this up at Chandler’s house, but I really would like to be friends Duke,” I give her a sincere smile before it slowly turns into a mischievous smirk, “Even if you seem like the type of person who steals children’s candy.”

She raises one eyebrow quizzically, “What the hell makes you think I don’t?” I bark out a laugh at that, happy she’s actually joking around with me, “I mean, who are they going to tell?”

She bursts into laughter at that and it hits me that it’s the first time I’ve heard her genuinely laugh before. Sure, I’ve heard her laugh at the expense of someone else, but right now she’s unguarded and happy. 

And apparently a complete fucking dork as well.

It’s at this moment that I realized I’m going to do whatever I have to to save them all. Without this second chance, I wouldn’t have been able to see this side of Duke. She’s my friend now. I won’t let her down. I can’t.

* * *

 

Duke and I spent a couple more hours at the library finishing our homework, but mostly just talking with one another. After we finished she offered to take me home, but I told her I was going to walk to a friends, which is how I ended up spending the rest of my day with Martha.

“It’s getting late, “my oldest friend tells me. We just finished The Princess Bride for what seemed like the tenth time that month,” you should probably be going soon.”

“Yeah, I know.” I don’t move though. Instead, I lay my head down on her shoulder, closing my eyes. I had missed this, my time with Martha. She lets out a small chuckle and that sets me off. Soon we’re just a mess of laughter and eventually Martha’s father sticks his head into the room, asking us if we’re okay. We’re unable to produce any actual words, but Martha’s waving hands seem to be an answer for him. He turns to me before he leaves, asking if I need a ride home. I initially try to refuse, but the man is almost as stubborn as Martha herself and refuses to take no for an answer. I take him up on his offer and he tells me he’ll be done soon and heads back to his previous activity.

I look to Martha who seems to still be smiling on the direction that her father left. She always did have a good relationship with her parents.

“Hey, Martha,” I call to her. She turns her head, giving me her full attention,” you should hang out with me and the Heathers sometime.”

Her eyes go wide and she has a panicked expression on her face. He shakes her head softly,” No, that’s alright Veronica. I wouldn’t want to lower your popularity or anything.” She says it earnestly, like she truly means it. And it hurts even more because that.

“Martha,” I say softly, grabbing for her hand,” I will always want you by my side. You know that right? I don’t care what anyone says. You’re my best friend.”

She has tears in her eyes that she refuses to let fall. So evidently she didn’t know that. And that’s what makes me feel like the shittiest person alive. Martha Dunnstock deserves so much better than this town.

She give a small sniffle and suddenly I have an armful of Martha. We sit there in a tight embrace for what seems like an hour before a small clanking of keys alarms us to the presence of her father standing at the front door.

“Are you ready, Veronica? Or do I need to give you girls a moment?” His voice is filled with a slight teasing, but there’s also an understanding tone underneath that.

I shake my head before standing,” Love you, Martha”

“Love you, Ronica”

And with that, Martha’s father and I are on our way to my house. I sit in the passenger seat of the small car, fiddling with the radio like I always have since I was a small child. Martha’s mother would always get angry with me when I would mess with the radio, but her father encouraged it. Which is why my guard is instantly up when he lowers the volume in the vehicle.

“Martha tells me you’ve gained a fair amount of popularity lately,” is what comes out of his mouth. Mr. Dunnstock has always been a soft spoken man with a kind heart, who worries over his daughter. So I think I have some feeling where this is going.

“Yes, sir.”

“How many time have I told you to call me Marvin?” he asks me with a small sigh. I give him a small smile which he mirrors,” Anyways, Veronica, I wanted to say thank you.” Seeing my puzzled look, he explains further,” You could have taken the popularity and left Martha behind, but you didn’t. You stayed.”

Maybe I didn’t know where this conversation was going at all. I can tell you I really don’t like it. I don’t want to be thanked for not leaving my best friend to the wolves. That’s not something he should be thanking me for. That’s something that should have been expected of me. Of course in the other timeline… Maybe he has a reason to be surprised. Still.

“She’s better than half the people in this town combined. Why would I leave that just for a little popularity?” I give him a small grin even though I feel a bit sick to my stomach. I can’t help thinking back to what happened to Martha in the other timeline.

Mr. Dunnstock gives a pleased grin and reaches his hand over to ruffle my hair. I can’t help the groan that escapes my lips and it makes the man laugh.

We sit in a comfortable silence for the rest of the trip. It only takes us a few minutes to get to my  home after our talk and when I get out of the car, I stop once to look at the father of my best friend telling him, “Thank you for allowing me in your house all these years. For letting me get to know your daughter.” And with that I close the door and head inside. It’s been a long day and I’m ready for bed.

* * *

 

 

_“Do you ever wonder what you would have done if you hadn’t.. Ya know?” I can’t say the actual words. It hurts to say them._

_“You mean if you and your psycho boyfriend hadn’t murdered me?” But it’s obvious Heather has no problem with saying it. Hesitantly, I nod at her. She thinks for a moment before nodding confidently,” I’d run my own business.”_

_I stare at her in confusion. That’s not the answer I expected at all from her,” Why? You don’t like math and that’s basically all you do.”_

_She sighs as if she’s disappointed in me, “Of course that’s not all there is to it, Veronica. There are people too. I could hire someone to do the math for me if I really wanted to. I mean, I have the money to do it. But, my point is, I know people. I know how to charm them. I know how to manipulate them. I would be wonderful in the business industry.”_

_I take a moment to take this information in. She really would be marvelous in such an industry. She took over an entire high school in a very short amount of time and not once did anyone try to remove her from her throne. Well, no one before me…. But if I hadn’t come along, there would be no one to stop her from taking over the business industry._

_“You would have been amazing.”_

_She looks to me and doesn’t respond for a few moments. Finally, she responds with a soft,” Thank you.” There’s an intense look in her eyes and for a moment I’m struck with guilt, because if I didn’t know better, I’d say Heather Chandler looks to be on the verge of crying. Except she’s dead now and the dead don’t cry, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel._

_“I’ll see you later, Ronnie.” and with that she’s gone._

_Yeah, that’s guilt you’re feeling, Veronica._

* * *

 

 

I wake with a start. It’s not the first time I’ve had that particular dream. Or… memory I suppose? I have a lot of dreams of Heather Chandler, but that one tends to always come back. If there’s one person I want to fix things for, it’s her. Martha and McNamara might have always been there for me after everything that happened, but so was Chandler. And if anyone kept me sane it was her, which is kind of ironic since she’s my ghost bestie that I killed. God, my life is so fucked up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be coming slower at this point. I hope everyone will be okay with this. I should have one chapter out every week, but maybe two if i have time to write :)
> 
> Also Chandler/Veronica times coming up!


	5. Corn Nuts and Paintball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A car ride with Heather and a strange conversation with Kurt and Ram.

“Thanks for picking me up, Heather” Chandler had agreed to take me to school today. I would have asked Duke, but she lives the farthest away from me out of the three Heathers. And I assumed she was picking MacNamara up anyways.

“Whatever. I live close by anyways.” she shrugs off my thanks and backs out of my driveway before taking off. Oh, I forgot why I don’t like driving with Chandler. She’s an absolute speed demon. My hand comes to rest on the console in between Heather and I. She glances at me in the corner of her eye before laughing at my face. I can only imagine the comical expression I must have. She slows slightly which takes me off guard. At first, I think she’s slowing down for my sake, but then I realize she has her blinker on. She turns into a gas station and pulls up to a gas pump. She turns, handing me money seemingly out of nowhere, “You run in and pay. I’ll pump the gas.”

I nod and get out of her car, slowly making my way into the familiar store. I open the door, bell ringing above my head. Glancing around nervously, I see no JD and realize that my silly nerves are getting the better of me.Heading towards the cashier, I stop when I see a stand of corn nuts. I glance outside to where Heather is sitting at the hood of her car, waiting for me to get back. I make a quick decision to grab a pack of bq corn nuts and head to the cash register. I put the the pack of nuts down and pull out a dollar of my own out to pay for them. I pay the man for the nuts and the gas before heading back outside to the car.

“You can fill it up now,” I tell her. She startles slightly, having had her eyes closed waiting for me.

She raises an eyebrow,” Took you long enough.”

I shrug before opening the car door and sliding in. It take Heather a few minutes to fill the car, but when she’s done she slips inside the driver’s seat mumbling about disgusting gas smells and other things I can’t decipher.

“Here.” I toss the corn nuts onto her lap right as she starts the car. She furrows her brow in confusion, picking the package up. She looks over and I can’t exactly identify the emotion on her face.

“How did you know I liked these?” Her voice is laced with suspicion, but also… hope? But why would she be sus- OH crap! I wasn’t supposed to know that yet,

“O-oh well you know. Everyone knows that you uh, you love corn nuts so…” I trail off awkwardly. Chandler is still staring at me, searching for the truth, “ I just wanted to say thank you for taking me to school today. I used my money too! Don’t worry, I didn’t use yours for anything other th-”

“Veronica,” Heather’s strong voice cuts me off mid sentence. I close my mouth so I don’t look like a floundering fish,” thank you,” she say it softly and I’m reminded of the conversation we had in the past timeline. The difference being she’s not a ghost. She’s right here, breathing, alive.

“Your welcome,”  I say it without looking at her, knowing if I do I’ll lose it. I can’t just start crying because I won’t be able to explain to her _why_ I’m crying.

She seems to understand that I don’t want to talk because she starts the vehicle and we’re on our way to school. It takes me a few moments, but I eventually calm down.

“So,” I start, trying to gain her attention. It works. Her gaze meets mine,” Duke said you wanted me to go to a party on Friday?”

Her face scrunches up,” Since when are you and Heather so chummy with each other?” I shrug, brushing the question off. She doesn’t seem happy with that, but she answers my question anyways,” I think it will be good for you to go to your first party with all of us there. That way we can keep an eye on you.”

“Duke and Mac will be there?” I ask. Duke didn’t tell me that.

Chandler nods, squinting her eyes,” Although I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Heather likes high school parties, but she’s not overly fond of college parties. Luckily Heather will be there to smash anyone’s nose in that upsets her.”

I take a moment to decipher that in my head, but once I properly process it, it’s obvious that the first Heather in question is McNamara and the second is Duke. I can hardly see Mac ever hitting someone in the face.

“Duke is protective over her then?” I ask.

“Very.” is the only response I’m offered.

I hum to acknowledge I heard her, but I offer nothing else to the conversation after that. I’m beyond confused at this point. What could have happened that was so bad that it made Duke turn on McNamara after Chandler’s death? If Duke was as protective of her as Chandler says, then what went wrong? Is there something I missed?

* * *

 

 

Nowadays I always get stares when I walk into school, but with Heather Chandler by my side, I might as well be invisible again because when we first walk in all eyes are on her. It’s kind of nice if I’m being honest. Not having everyone watching your every move, waiting for you to mess up.

“Veronica! Heather!” A yellow streak catches my attention from down the hall. McNamara practically skips to Chandler and I. I catch a glimpse of Duke gliding through students behind her.

The two girls meet with us in the middle of the hallway and Mac gives us both hugs while Duke merely offers us nods. I return McNamara’s hug and give Duke a small smile. The rest of the student have at this point gotten bored with our interactions and have gone to do there own thing.

“So what’s the plan for today, Heather?” McNamara asks Chandler.

“I’m feeling generous today, let’s let the nerds have a quiet day.” Chandler addresses us all with this statement. Duke glances my way with a questioning eyebrow. I shrug my shoulders. I don’t know what’s got her in a good mood.

“Where did you get those?” McNamara is pointing towards the package that Chandler is holding in her hands. She holds it up for the other girls to see.

“Oh these?” She’s smiling,” Ronnie, bought them for me.” Chandler glances at me, but quickly turns back to the others.

Hearing a snort, I look to see Duke with an amused look on her face.

“What?” I ask her, but she only shakes her head at me.

“Nothing, _Ronnie_. Let’s go.” She loops her arm through mine and we make our way down the hall. I make out a small huff of irritation and a giggle behind us and assume that Chandler and McNamara are following us. Duke must assume the same because she lowers her voice when she says,” It was the corn nuts just so you know.” Seeing my confused look she sighs, but continues,” Jesus, you’re dense. The damn corn nuts are what has her so happy.”

“Oh,” is what I offer in reply,” Good. I’m glad.” And I really am. I’m happy that I could make her happy. It’s not something she had often in the other timeline. Ghost Chandler told me that herself.

Duke is scrutinizing me. It’s something she does often when the Heathers are brought up. Less so now that we have a shaky friendship, but it’s only a few days into it so I suppose we’ll see if that lasts. I think it comes from a place of caring though, so I don’t ever call her out on it.

She looks away when Chandler and Mac end up on either side of us. McNamara to her left and Chandler to my right. And just like that, in an unspoken agreement, we’ve left the outside world behind and have become the high school Heathers once again. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it.

* * *

 

 

It’s lunch and I’m approaching the idea of asking Chandler if Martha can join us when Kurt and Ram set their trays down at our table.

“Veronica, you’re smart, right?” is out of Ram’s mouth before Chandler can yell at them for setting their things down. They both take the seats across from me, next to Mac and Duke. Mac doesn’t seem bothered by their presence, but Duke’s eyes seem to promise death. Choosing to ignore that for now I answer the boy’s question.

“I guess so. Why? What do you need, Ram?” I’m assuming this has something to do with the favor I owe them since this is the first time we've talked since then.

“Zombie Paintball,” Kurt jumps in before his best friend can respond. I look at the boys in confusion.

“Zombie what? And why are you idiots sitting here?” Chandler, sitting to my right, seems to have had enough of the jocks. Kurt ignores her and continues staring right at me as he answers. This must be serious because I'm not sure Ram and Kurt have ever ignored Heather Chandler before. The anger on her face definitely supports that thought.

“Ram and I have wanted to play zombie paintball forever and they’re having a tournament soon, but you have to have a parent’s signature if you’re under eighteen. Neither of our dads will sign it. So, we need you to forge their signature.” he stops to take a large breath, exchanging glances with Ram. Ram nods at him to continue,” We also want you to be on our team. When we were talking in the car you seemed real smart and stuff which we aren’t and we thought you could help.”

I stare at them with my mouth open, completely surprised. They seemed to have actually prepared that speech and everything. I glance to the others at the table to find that even though McNamara’s expression most likely matches mine, Duke and Chandler both look decidedly unimpressed.

“Um,” I glance back to the two puppy-like jocks to find them staring at me with pleading looks,” I guess I can do that.”

“YES!” Kurt jumps up hitting his knee on the table, but doesn’t seem to notice. Jeez, what is he made of?

“Dude, we’re so gonna win!” Ram jumps on Kurt’s back and gives the boy a noogie and it’s the broest bro thing I’ve seen in my entire life,” We’ll bring you the forms Verronnicaa!”

The boys run off… somewhere? And they left their trays. Great.

“You’re actually gonna do it?” McNamara asks me. She looks mostly amazed, but also slightly alarmed.

Which yes, being alone with Kurt and Ram in the woods is not the greatest idea I’ve ever had, especially with paintball guns, but we won’t be around people from school nor will there be alcohol. So, things should be fine.

I shrug,” Yeah, sure.”

Chandler gives me a small frown,” Just… look after those two idiots.” I don’t think that’s what she wanted to say, but I leave it alone.

I turn to Duke to see if she has any input. She merely looks on with a blank face before saying,” Don’t die.” And although the words aren’t meant to be taken seriously, I still feel my body go cold. Right, I forgot that even though I’m meant to be saving everyone, I also have to save myself in all this.

* * *

 

 

Hey! Heather!” I catch up with Chandler at the end of the day,” There’s a question I’ve wanted to ask you all day.” Her face lights up slightly and she smiles a small smile.

“What is it?”

“You know Martha Dunnstock, right?” and the smile slowly slips off her face.

“Dumptruck? What about her?” She seems to be in a hurry to get our conversation over with.

“Please don’t call her that, Heather,” I plead with her and I watch her eyes roam my face slowly, searching for something,” She’s my oldest friend. Actually, I wanted to know if…” I trail off not sure how to ask exactly.

She waits for a few beats before she realizes I’m not going to continue,” Spit it out, Sawyer.” It’s delivered harshly, making me flinch slightly. Her face shows remorse for a second before going back to steel.

“Is there any way she could sit with us tomorrow?” I know I’m going to be rejected, but I refuse to not ask. I have to, for Martha.

Heather stares at me for what seems like hours before responding,” Okay,” she nods,” On one condition. Dinner,” and again she stops for a beat. Her cheeks are slightly colored, matching her clothing, and I wonder if the girl is okay,” All four of us. The Heathers. No Martha. If she’s going to be taking up our lunch time, then I want us to have dinner together.”

“Yes!” I nod enthusiastically at the red clad girl,” That sounds great actually.”

I beam at her and she looks to the ground. I can no longer see her face, but I hear her voice ask, “Do you need a ride?”

“Oh, I was just going to walk.” I tell her truthfully. I didn’t want to burden her any more than I had.

Her gaze comes up to rest on me,“ Come on loser, let’s go.”

And that’s how I added Martha Dunnstock to our lunch table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a surprise chapter that actually got done early. So.. Surprise! 
> 
> Also JD/Veronica interactions coming soon. We'll also have a chapter soon enough with a different character POV!


	6. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martha sits with the cool kids
> 
> Kurt gets a black eye
> 
> Hey look JD is back

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Martha sticks close to me as we walk through the lunch line in the school cafeteria. Today is the first day that she’ll be sitting with us and she’ll be doing it in front of the entire school population. I went the entire day thinking Heather might take back her previous day’s decision, but she kept her promise, even going so far as to making sure the other girls be on their best behavior when Martha arrives.

“Yes,” I turn to look her in the eye. I need her to believe me,” It’ll be fine.”

She smiles and follows me to the table where the others are already sat. I take my usual seat next to Chandler, Martha sitting to my Left. Duke and Mac glance at her as she sits, but offers no words. Chandler is the only one to speak,” So, Dump- Dunnstock,” she catches herself, offering me a slightly apologetic look,” Got any embarrassing stories of our dear Ronnie here?”

Martha looks completely caught off guard at actually being addressed. She must have assumed she would have been ignored the entire time. I bump her shoulder with mine and offer her an encouraging nod, trying to get her to open up.

“Oh,” her voice is quiet,” well there was this one time that she was on the playground back in… 3rd grade I think? Gregory Lendum tried to stuff a grasshopper down my shirt once so Veronica punched him in the face. Then she started crying because she accidently killed the grasshopper when she punched him.” I feel my face go red because I had actually forgot about that story. I hear a squeal from across the table and see McNamara giggling, making me even more embarrassed than before.

Martha turns to me, “Sorry, but at least I didn’t tell them about the grasshopper’s funeral,” she smiles at me like she thinks she did great. I give her a flat look and it takes her a moment, but she gives a scandalized gasp,” oh my gosh, Veronica, I’m sorry.” Her hands are flailing around helplessly so I take them mid air and set them on the table.

“Relax Martha. It’s fine,” I let out a long sigh. I hear Duke cackle at my trouble and I raise my head to glare at her. Seeing my displeasure with her only seems to make her mirth grow.

The five of us sit in a comfortable silence, besides Duke’s occasional laugh. I look at my lunch companions, taking a moment to sit in happiness with them all here. Turning to the girl who made it possible, I find that Chandler is already staring at me. I mouth a ‘thank you’ to her and her lips turn up, cheeks glowing with color. She seems to be getting much more comfortable with me, showing emotions much easier. I wonder if this is the side of her that Duke and Mac see.

“Oh!” Martha’s outburst startles me into turning away from Chandler and towards her,” I have another story about Veronica,” I give a large groan, but she continues seeing that she has all of the other’s attention,” She planned a super nice date for Betty Finn only to get rained on an-”

“Martha!” I’m loud enough to attract the attention of a couple tables around us, but with a quick glare they turn away. Martha looks to me in confusion, genuinely not understanding my anger, “They don’t know.” I hiss. Even in the other timeline, JD was the only one to know.

“But I thought that…” She looks around the table in confusion before her eyes land on Chandler, who I expected to look disgusted at this point, now looks... excited?

“Oh for fu- we already knew, Veronica.” Duke looks completely uninterested in this conversation, like it’s old news. I look to Mac who nods her head, smiling encouragingly.

I take a deep breath, only ever admitting this to my parents and Martha. I almost admitted it to Betty, but my almost date was ruined before I could ask her out, “ I’m bisexual.”

“Great, me too. Now pass the salt, would you?” Duke holds her hand out for the little packets of salt at the front of my tray. I pass her some of the white, square packets, keeping a couple for myself, “Now would anyone else like to come out, today?” She eyes Chandler, McNamara, and Martha respectively. Martha shakes her head while the other two merely glare at the green clad girl.

I let out a terrible snort and shake my head fondly at Duke,” You’re terrible.” She only smirks, pouring salt onto the fries that she may or may not throw up later.

“I’m really  _am_ sorry Veronica, I thought they knew.” Martha puts her hand on my shoulder and looks at me with her doe eyes and I really can’t stay mad at her.

“It’s alright, Martha.” I pat her hand with my own. She lets go and before I can say anything else, McNamara engages her in a conversation. I’m not necessarily surprised, they got along very well after everything that happened in the other timeline. I turn to Chandler, who has been suspiciously quiet this entire time.

“So,” I start, gaining her attention. She looks to be in deep thought,” Are we all still eating dinner together tonight?”

“No,” Her words seem far away,” not tonight. We’ll do it tomorrow.”

“You aren’t cancelling because of,” I stop for a beat, uncertainty flooding my body,” what I just told you, right?”

Her face softens an inch,” No, Ronnie. My mom is home tonight. We can have dinner at my house tomorrow when she isn’t there.”

“Oh,” I’m incredibly relieved and it probably shows on my face, ”okay.”

“Really. You’re perfect the way you are. If anyone tells you otherwise, I’ll destroy them.”

* * *

 

Damn it. I can’t believe I have detention. Some kid who overheard our conversation at lunch thought it was a good decision to make fun of Duke. And although Duke and I aren’t super close I wasn’t just going to let them make fun of her. I’m sure they made fun of me as well, but I lived with that for years, so I can deal with it. Anyways, I threatened the kid and for some reason a teacher thought that was worth a day in detention. Kid’s threaten each other every single day and yet none of them get in trouble. It’s almost like this is bad writing to keep the story going or something.

I find myself in a bland room with single desks that’s normally used for Calculus and Geometry. I take the middle seat in the very back of the room, hoping to avoid any other occupants in the room. That is, until Kurt Kelly walks in with a black eye and a big grin when he spots me. He makes a beeline for me and takes the seat to my right.

“Hey, Veronica! You won’t believe what happened today!” He drags his seat over to mine so that our desks are only a few inches away from one another,” Some douche bags were calling you and Duke dykes today so I beat the hell outta them and I ended up getting detention.”

I can’t help it, I spurt out laughter, a few snorts falling out of my mouth. Kurt looks on in surprise and eventually joins in and tells me,” You sound like a pig.”

I gasp and hit him on the arm, “ You are one!” I shake my head playfully at him and he smiles in amusement. He’s actually a pretty fun guy when he isn’t busy being one of the popular guys.

“So, not to be all up in your business, but I kind of heard you at lunch,” he trails off looking at the ground like a scolded child and I take pity on him.

“Yes, Kurt. I like guys and girls.” He looks up at me at that. A scared, confused look on his face.

“Ca-can you do that?” he asks me,” Like both, I mean.”

“Of course,” I tell him. I take a moment to really look at Kurt in that moment. He looks like a young kid and suddenly I feel like this goes much deeper than I originally thought,” Do you… like guys and girls too, Kurt?” Kurt opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He look in his eyes is so undeniably intense and confused that my heart aches for the boy. He shrugs his shoulders at me in a small, defeated way. I nod at him in understanding, because I think I might understand, “ Well,” I whisper close to him,” Do you think you might like Ram?”

And the intake of breath is the only answer I need. His fist tightly clench before he slowly releases a breath, hands uncurling. A broken,” Yes.” escapes his lips and it’s then that I know that I really didn’t understand anything that happened in this school. There are sides of these people that I couldn’t have even imagined existed without this second chance.

I wonder how close to the truth I really was the first time around when JD and I wrote that note.

I take his hand in mine when he lets out a small whimper. Smiling, I try to cheer up the boy,” You know, if we win the zombie paintball tournament it might just impress Ram enough that he’ll fall for you.”

Kurt lets out a pained laugh and shakes his head,” Can we not talk about it here? I just… I don’t want anyone to find out.”

“Sure, Kurt.” I continue holding his hand, refusing to let go until he wants me to, hoping to offer as much comfort as possible. He grips my fingers tightly, only letting go when the other students start filing in minutes later for detention. Most don’t notice us in the back, but the few who do are looking at us strangely. I’m distracted by the looks to the point that I almost miss the entrance of the very last student. He walks to the very back and takes the seat to my left, his trench coat falling off the sides of the chair when he sits.

“Veronica,” He offers in greeting,” you’re once again the talk of the school.” He gives me a familiar smile that once upon a time would have charmed my socks off.

“I suppose I’m used to it at this point,” I tell him. I lean back slightly to give Kurt a view of the newcomer, not wanting to exclude him from the conversation.

“You shouldn’t be. You’re sexuality shouldn’t be any of these assholes business,” JD says it angrily. It's surprisingly close to what he told me the first time he found out. He points over to Kurt before continuing,” Heard about what you did, Boy Wonder. Good on you.”

Kurt gives a confused look before speaking,” Uh thanks, but who are you? And why are you talking to me?”

“Jason Dean! Friend of Veronica Sawyer. You can call me JD, though.” He reaches over me and offers Kurt his hand. Kurt stares at it before turning to me. I shrug, nodding my head. Kurt turns back to the hand, taking it with his larger one and shaking it twice before letting it go. JD, satisfied with the introduction, sits back down in his seat.

“So we’re friends, huh?” I don’t suppose I have a problem with _this_ JD calling me his friend, it’s just that we’ve only really talked once. I’m not sure I’d call us friends.

“Only if you want.” he shrugs like it isn’t a big deal,” Anyways, I heard you guys talking about the zombie paintball tournament in the cafeteria. I wanted to see if you had room for one more on your team. I planned on joining anyways, but I think it would be better if I had teammates I knew.”

Alarms immediately go off in my head. JD shouldn’t have any type of guns around Ram or Kurt. Even just a paintball gun. No no no. Not happening. But… if he’s entering anyways then he’ll be near them no matter what. Shit. Maybe...maybe if I have him on the team where I can watch him I can at least make sure he doesn’t do anything to them. That’s assuming he even wants to do anything to Kurt or Ram.

“Veronica?” Kurt’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts,” What do you think? You’re the brains of the team.”

I turn to JD to see him watching me,” Let me do some research on the tournament first. We need to ask Ram too, but I think you’d be a good addition to the team, JD.” He smiles at me, and it’s one of his actual, genuine smiles.

“Sounds good. Just let me know, Veronica, Kurt.” And with that he turns to the front, where the teacher is entering the classroom.  He starts looking over the list of students to see who is present and is glancing around the room.

“Do you want a ride home?” Kurt whispers over to me so the teacher won’t hear him,

I nod,” That would be great. Thanks, Kurt.”

“Mr. Kelly, would you please scoot your desk away from your girlfriend and back to it’s normal spot?” The teacher, Mr. Trinidad if I remember correctly, exclaims loudly to the room.

“Oh she’s no-we aren’t-” Kurt is desperately trying to make it clear that we are indeed not dating, but is failing spectacularly. He brings his hand to the back of his neck, a blush rising from embarrassment.

"Kurt doesn't date anyways, dude," A random kid in the front adds," He bangs them and leaves them."

There's a roaring laughter that goes through the room and I see JD scowl at the teacher when he merely shakes his head in exasperation instead of saying something.

“We’re not dating, sir.” I speak up so JD doesn't.

“I don’t care what you are, Ms. Sawyer. I just want my chair moved back.” The dick- I mean teacher- says.

Kurt stands and moves his chair to the correct place, sitting back down.

“Now, there will be no talking.”

* * *

  


“I hate that guy,” Kurt and I are walking back to his vehicle with JD when Kurt expressed his dislike.

“He’s a dick,” I put in my two cents.

“Seriously, your relationship is none of his business,” JD tells us.

“We aren’t even in a relationship though,” I tell him shaking my head in frustration. I’m pissed off that that was how my day had to end.

“Oh I know. It’s pretty obvious,” JD tells Kurt and I. Suddenly his eyes light up and he makes us an offer,” You should let me buy you guys a slushy. To make up for the rumors and that black eye.”

I look to Kurt who is staring at me with a hopeful look in his eyes and I know I can’t refuse. With a sigh, I nod at JD and Kurt gives a fist pump.

* * *

 

“And I woke up outside in my underwear with jello all over me.” At the end of Kurt’s story, the boys find themselves doubling over in laughter. I stare at them in confusion and maybe a little disgust. Mostly for my dislike of jello.

Kurt catches a glance at the clock on the wall of the small gas station and looks over to me,” I gotta get going. You ready, Ronnie?”

I’m surprised to find myself actually wanting to stay with JD. It’s been nice talking to him. The actual him, not the crazy, killer version that he turned into. I’m not sure I would have been able to talk to him today without Kurt here if I’m being honest.

“I can take you home later if you wanna finish your slush.” JD tells me. He’s leaning against the counter of the slushy machine. He shrugs at me as if to say _whatever is fine._

“Okay,” I turn to Kurt,” I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Kurt smiles and ruffles my hair,” Sure thing! See you guys later!”

We watch him leave the store and start his car, leaving the parking lot in a hurry.

“I didn’t think I would like him when I met him today, but I was wrong,” JD brings my attention back to him. He takes a sip of his slushy before continuing,” I can see why you’re friends with him.”

“You act like you know me sometimes,” I tell him, raising my eyebrows,” Why do you do that?”

He sits up, no longer being supported by the counter,” I guess you remind me of me.” I feel the confusion on my face and I know he can see it because he laughs. A self deprecating laugh,” Stupid, right? Someone like me, be anything like the great Veronica Sawyer?”

“No,” I shake my head vehemently,” It’s not- I know what you mean.” And I look at him. _Really_ look at him for the first time since I’ve been given this second chance. His eyes hold the same sadness that they had the first time I met him, but they don’t have the same hold on me. The lure. I don’t love him. I haven’t for a long while, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help him,” I understand, JD”

He stares at me for a moment, just looking. And when he finds what he’s looking for he nods, very slowly, and motions for me to follow him. I do. He takes me outside where the sky is starting to get dark and he sits on the curb outside the store. I sit next to him, despite the dirt and grime that will most likely stick to my skirt.

“When I was younger, fifteen, I hurt someone. A guy that always picked on kids at my old high school,” he looks over to make sure I’m still listening. Seeing that he has my attention, he continues,” he drove this girl to suicide one day. I had enough so I just. I- I snapped. He went to the hospital for weeks, was in a coma for one of them.” His hands are trembling and he lets out a sob.

“Why are you telling me this?” I don’t understand. Not even JD from the other timeline told me this.

“Because I had a dream,” he tells me,” that I told you all of this and you didn’t call me a freak. You didn’t treat me like a monster. You were my friend. You helped me.”

There’s a beat where I make sure he’s done,” We can be friends JD. Not just you and me, though. Kurt likes you, too. We can all help each other.”

He gives me a confused glance, his eyes are slightly red,” What do you need help with?”

I give him a sad smile,” We all need help sometimes, JD.”

He gives me a small nod before giving me a sudden hug. I’m taken slightly off guard, but I return it. Maybe I won’t have anything to worry about at the paintball tournament after all. After a few moments he pulls back with a mischievous smile.

“Your girlfriend probably wouldn’t like me hugging up all on you, huh?” 

“Um, what?” He has me confused now.

“Veronica, you don’t have to hide your relationship from me. You know that, right?” He puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring smile.

“JD, what are you talking about?”

“Oh, wait. Are you and Heather Chandler keeping it on the down low?” He asks in curious tone.

Wait he thinks…. Heather and I are…. Hang on… What’s happening?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep telling you guys that I'm going to take a while on chapters and then I sit and write chapters. Moral of this end note is: I'm a liar
> 
> But serious time! Kurt/Ram is kind of happening! And for everyone wondering, Kurt and Ronnie are going to have a nice brother/sister relationship. Ram and Veronica's relationship won't be explored nearly as much, but they will still interact. JD will be a bigger part of the story than he has been from now on. As for the story from JD at the end, it was highly insinuated in the movie that JD had done terrible things at his old schools as well.
> 
> And next chapter... the ChanSaw realization? Maybe. Maybe not.


	7. She can't, can she?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica confronts some things

“Heather and I aren’t together, JD.” I don’t understand where the misunderstanding came from, but I need to clear this up before some rumors get spread around.

The boy in the trench coat takes a moment to study me before he speaks,” Um, Veronica, not to alarm you or anything, but most of the school thinks there’s something going on between you two,” I give him an incredulous look, sputtering in disbelief,” I mean, she’s always staring at you with, like, heart eyes or something…” He trails off, looking at me as if I’m some scared animal that might run off if he makes a wrong move. Well, so much for keeping away rumors if what JD is telling me is true.

“I don’t- She doesn’t like me like that,” I tell him. He frowns, patting my knee softly.

“Denial isn’t a good thing, Veronica. Yooouu have a cruushh” he gives a teasing grin, but I’m not in the mood for any jokes. Sensing this, his grin fades and his serious face comes back,” Look, I don’t actually know if you like her, but it’s obvious she has feelings for you.”

I shake my head, still not believing what he’s telling me. There’s just just no way that Heather Chandler has feelings for me, Veronica Sawyer.

“Even if I liked her, which I don’t,” I add the end on when his eyebrows rocket up,” there’s no way that relationship would work.”

“But if it could work?” he asks me.

I think about it for a minute. Heather Chandler taking me on a date, walking me to my classes, and leaving me breathless with a kiss. It sounds nice. If it was possible I might go for it.

“If it could work,” I speak slowly. JD leans closer, anticipation in his eyes,” I might consider it.”

A bright, toothy smile from JD is all it takes for me to stand up, wiping the dirt off from the cold ground. JD gives me a confused look from below.

“Do you think you could take me home?” I’m not sure I want to talk about Chandler anymore. JD seems to understand and nods. I offer the boy my hand and he grasps it tightly. I pull him up and he walks over to a garbage can, dumping all the trash he had collected since arriving at the station.

“Let’s get going.” He says.

 

* * *

 

The entire day at school I’ve been able to do nothing else besides stare at Heather Chandler and I know she knows that I’m doing it because she keeps glancing at me. Her face will go through many emotions, starting with confusion, then there’s something that I’ve placed as hope, and finally it settles on sadness. I’m not sure what causes the latter emotion, but I’ve slowly started to accept that the reasoning for the hope might be for slightly less than platonic feelings that JD accused Chandler of having.

Duke has been giving me suspicious looks all day and I know that it’s only a matter of time before she figures out exactly where my thoughts have been if I don’t snap out this- whatever it is- soon. McNamara has also been watching me today, but with a strange, confused look on her face when her gaze lands on me.

Actually, now that I think about it, most of the cafeteria has been looking at me like that today. Have I really been that obvious?

“So I heard the big news!” Martha’s voice brings me out of my musing. She sets her tray down at the table, sitting beside me in what has now been assigned her designated seat. She gains the attention of Duke and Mac as well.

“What news?” I ask, pushing my peas around on my tray, not really hungry for the cafeteria’s slop.

“Oh please, Veronica!” Chandler’s mocking voice makes me jump slightly,” Everyone’s talking about the new power couple.” She angrily stares across the cafeteria where I can see JD talking to Kurt and Ram. Ram looks slightly uncomfortable, like he doesn’t know how to act around the darker dressed boy, but Kurt seems very comfortable, talking up a storm.

“Oh,” I laugh slightly,” No. JD and I are just friends.” I tell them all.

Hearing a scoff, I turn to see Chandler with an intense anger on her face. I haven’t seen her like this since the days before I became a Heather,” Are you serious? We weren’t talking about you and Psycho 2.0.”

I give her a confused glance before turning back to Martha who is watching Chandler in quiet fear,” Maybe I should just… go.” Martha stands and despite my protests to get her to stay, she scuttles away to safety.

“Kurt, Ronnie. She means Kurt. ” Duke is the one to supply the information that I’ve been desperately searching for. Duke is watching me and suddenly I understand why I’ve been given the looks I have today. Why everyone is watching me,” There’s a picture of you two holding hands that was sent around the school. Apparently everyone thinks you’re a couple now.”

I shake my head, slightly dizzy from the force,” We aren’t. I wanted to thank him for sticking up for us yesterday and someone must have taken that picture. But- its no- It isn’t what you guys think.”

“Took up for you?” Mac asks in a gentle voice.

“Someone was talking shit about Duke and I. Kurt got into a fight with them.” I tell them all.

McNamara gasps and takes my hand with her own,” Was it about what we talked about yesterday?” Her eyes are filled with kindness and not for the first time, I find myself thankful for Heather McNamara.

I nod and Chandler speaks up,” So, it was just a misunderstanding?” She looks very small in that moment, and I try to reassure the girl that Kurt and I are indeed not dating. I’m not sure why it’s so important for me to make sure she knows this, but I need her to understand the truth.

“Kurt was just being a good friend, that’s all,” I lay my hand on her forearm, causing the girl to blush slightly. Right, JD really is onto something with that crush talk,” I don’t have feeling for him and he doesn’t have feelings for me.”

Chandler gulps and I quickly take my hand away. She looks upset at the loss of contact and I try to do my best to pretend I don’t notice. I stand and excuse myself, “I really need to find my friend. You know, the one that you scared away a second ago?” I give Chandler a pointed look and she looks slightly sorry, but just shrugs and turns away. I sigh, knowing I won’t be getting anything close to an apology from her.

I walk away looking for Martha, but instead of finding my oldest friend, I’m found by a trench coat wearing boy, “How’s it going, Veronica?”

I scowl slightly at him, making him lose his friendly demeanor and quickly become confused,” You were right,” More confusion,” About Chandler.”

His confusion clears after a moment and then he laughs at me,” Of course I was. Now what are you gonna do about it?”

He gives me a devious smirk and I feel irritated that apparently everyone knew about this before me,” I don’t have time for a relationship,” I tell him sighing. It’s the truth. I don’t. Between keeping my grades up, being popular and going to parties, and oh yes, there’s that other little thing. The whole keeping my friends alive/ time travel deal!

He looks disappointed at my answer,” Damn,” he whines,” I was ready to hop aboard the Chansaw train.”

“The what?” I ask incredulously.

“You know, your ship name.” JD says it like it the most natural thing ever.

“Please don’t ever say that in real life again,” I plead.

He shrugs, looking mostly unaffected by my words.

  


* * *

  


_“Did you love him?” she sounds curious, but there’s a sharp, underlying tone of judgment._

_I don’t need to think about it,” Yes, I did.”_

_“Did?” She sits at the bottom of my bed, still in her red bathrobe of course._

_I lay under the covers of the large bed, hoping for sleep that I know won’t be coming any time soon,” Did. Do. I don’t know anymore.” I try to be honest with her. She always is with me._

_She nods, laughing a breathless laugh. It’s one of those laughs that don’t actually have any joy in them, they’re only there to take up the space of silence in a room._

_“Did you love anyone?” I don’t know why I ask. I just can’t imagine the great Heather Chandler falling in love with anyone from this terrible, small town. She doesn’t answer me. She turns her head and watches me with her dead eyes, gaze never leaving mine. Eventually she does snap her gaze away and stands._

_“Scoot over,” she demands of me. Usually I would argue when Heather commanded me to do something, but I’m too exhausted tonight. I move to the left, but only a few inches. Heather huffs, but she lays down on top of the bed next to me. She turns so she’s facing me,” You need to sleep more.”_

_“Kind of hard when ghosts keep visiting me.” I tell her. She doesn’t respond to me. It’s strange. Heather talks to me less nowadays,” Ya know, I really miss you.” I whisper it, like it’s a secret. Her lips tilt upwards._

_We sit in silence for a while and I just watch her. She’s still, never moving a muscle. It has to be a side effect of being dead because alive Heather Chandler could never be this still._

_“I think I was in love,” she tells me out of the blue. I had almost forgot our previous conversation and so I was taken slightly off guard._

_“Did he love you, too?” It’s the only thing I can think of to ask. There’s a beat before she answers, looking at me sadly._

_“No… I don’t think so.”_

 

* * *

 

I wake once again in a panic from a past memory. Chandler seems to have invaded even my dreams once again. Although, thinking back on this memory, I think I understand that moment better. I’m still not one hundred percent sure about Chandler’s feelings toward me, but I think JD was right. Heather Chandler likes me. And… maybe even felt something far deeper in the other timeline. And… maybe I’m okay with that.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanna take a moment to thank everyone who has been reading this story. I really love writing this story and I hope you all love reading it just as much. I especially love reading your comments, they really make it all the more fun. Kudos, comments, everything is appreciated :)


	8. Change

**Heather Chandler POV**

 

It’s been a week since Veronica revealed her sexuality to us and I can’t help, but be hopeful that maybe, just maybe, she feels the same way as I do. I mean, who wouldn’t want me? I’m Heather Chandler. Everyone at this school would love a piece of me. Except… maybe the one person I actually want.

A knock on the door causes me to jump in excitement. Heather looks at me from my living room couch, a teasing grin on her face, “Excited much?”

Feeling my face burn, I scowl at her, mumbling, “Shut up, Heather.” She puts her hands up in surrender and I nod, satisfied.

I make sure to stop and check my reflection with the mirror in the hallway before heading to the door. Satisfied with my looks, I take a deep breath and make my way to greet my guest. I open the door with a wide smile, only to find Mac. Not the girl I was hoping for, but I allow the blonde in without complaint. I take the smaller girl to Heather in the living room. Heather looks ready to make a sarcastic comment when she catches sight of Mac and my slight frown, but one sharp look has her raising her eyebrows, miming a zipping motion across her lips. 

“Hi, Heather!” Mac skips to the girl on the couch, squeezing her tightly when she reaches her. Heather’s face colors and I giver a look that says  _ and you tease me about my crush? _

“Oh!” Mac steps away from the blushing girl and turns to me,” Veronica called. She can’t have dinner with us tonight.” I find myself slightly concerned. She hasn’t missed any of our scheduled Heather’s dinners,” She’s with Kurt, Ram, JD, and Martha tonight.” Of course she is.

I find myself growing irritated at the four even though, rationally, I know it isn’t any of their faults that Veronica doesn’t lo-like me. 

“So,” Heather’s voice rings out,” Since Veronica won’t be here tonight, perhaps we should finally talk about the elephant in the room?”

My defenses rise and I snap put,” What? Your bulimia?” Heather looks slightly hurt or perhaps offended and I feel guilt fill my chest. Damn Veronica for making me go soft. Now I feel all these emotions around not only her, but my friends as well.

“Veronica has been helping me with that and you know it.” She bites back,” Jesus, Heather, I’m trying to help you.” Mac looks on in worry.

“Well,” I say quietly,” You can’t” I refuse to look at either of them, instead focusing on the picture on the wall. The one of my mother, father and a ten year old Heather chandler all at the beach in California. It’s the last time I can recall being genuinely happy around both my parents.

“Talking helps.” Mac supplies, drawing my gaze. Heather gives her a gentle smile, and nods in appreciation at her for the help. Mac shyly steps in place, looking awkwardly nervous. Whether it’s from awaiting my response or from Heather’s gaze, I’m not sure. I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand the relationship between those two.

Silently, I nod and sit on the couch beside Heather. Mac follows suit and climbs in between us.

“She doesn’t like me, does she?” I ask them as if they would actually know the question. 

“She does,” Mac supplies, taking my hand in her smaller one,” I can tell with these things. It’s like how I knew Dukey liked me.” Heather sputters at this.

“I-Wa-what? What do you mean you knew? Why didn’t you say any-” but she’s cut off by Mac putting a finger to her lips, shushing her. Again, I’ll never understand their relationship. They aren’t together, but they… sort of are., “This is about Heather, not us”

“You’re just saying that,” I do what I have always done best. Deny, deny, deny. There’s no way she likes me.

“Heather.” Heather reaches around Mac to grab my shoulder,” She looks at you the same way you look at her when you think no one is looking.”  

“Wow, stalker much?” A blush blooms across my cheeks, embarrassed that I had been caught, but I think about her words. Heather and Veronica have been closer lately so I have no reason not to believe her, and if what she’s saying is true then I really do have a chance with her. A chance to be with her. Hope bubbles in my chest.

I take a moment to look at the two girls next to me. My best friends. Veronica has changed our little group since she’s been here. We’re all happier.

“I want her in my life,” I decide,” even if she doesn’t like me like I like her, I want her here still.”

“Agreed.” Heather tells me. 

Mac nods happily. After a moment in silence, she squeals and pulls the three of us together,” Oh come here! Group hug!”

Heather groans about the contact when Mac squeezes a bit too hard and I laugh at the green covered girl’s uncomfortableness. 

She really has changed us, hasn’t she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter just for you guys to see what's going on with Heather. Next chapter will go back to Veronica and we'll see what's happened after a short time skip. 
> 
> I feel I'm not very good at writing Heather Chandler, but I tried my best. Next chapter will be up soon.


	9. Breaking in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this get's a little rough emotionally. Read at your own risk. If you are triggered by mentions of panic attacks then you might skip the last part of this chapter

“Aren’t you supposed to be at that dinner thing?” JD tugs on my shirt as he asks me this. Annoying me has become his new favorite hobby.

“I told McNamara I would be with you four tonight.” I tell him, smacking his hand away.  He huffs at the gentle sting it leaves, but says nothing. JD and I are earlier than everyone else and are forced to wait until the others arrive. I had planned on going to Chandler’s, but the boys had decided they wanted to go watch a movie tonight. I had initially declined, but when I was informed Martha was going, I agreed.

“Your girlfriend isn’t going to be very impressed with you for that.” he chimes in cheekily.

“She isn’t my girlfriend,” I remind him.

“But you wish she was.” His voice is no longer teasing, it’s taken a serious tone. I know JD well enough to know that he wants to have a serious discussion about my feeling for the queen bee of the school, but I really don’t feel like getting into that tonight. So I shrug, hoping he’ll let it go. He stares at me for a moment, hoping I’ll crack, but I don’t so he lets the conversation go.

“Where do you think they are?” he asks instead.

“I have no idea,” I reply honestly,” maybe we should call them?”

He pulls out his phone,” I’ll call Kurt, you call Martha?”

I agree and dial Martha’s number. She picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?” She sounds groggy, like I woke her from a nap maybe.

“Hey, JD and I are waiting for you, Kurt, and Ram, You on your way?” I ask.

“Ugggh. I’m so sorry, Veronica, but I don’t think I can. I’m not feeling very well.” As if to prove her statement, she coughs, but it’s muffled as if she has covered the phone.

“Oh, well that’s alright,” I tell her,” Get to feeling better, Martha.”

Hanging up after a quiet, pitiful goodbye from the girl on the other end, I find JD with a confused expression on his face. He must have finished his call.

Catching my gaze on him, he tells me,” Kurt and Ram aren’t coming. Kurt didn’t really give me an excuse, just said ‘Sorry, dude. Can’t do tonight’ and hung up.”

“Martha is sick.” I inform him.

He hums,” guess it’s just us, huh?” He looks around in distaste,” I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want to see a movie tonight.”

“Neither do I,” I admit, “We could do something else?”

He contemplates for a moment before his eyes go wide,” I have a brilliant idea.” he announces.

 

* * *

 

“This is a terrible idea!” I hiss quietly. I know I can’t be too loud or else we’ll get caught by the night security guard,” Remind me why we’re sneaking into the school?”

“Revenge.” JD says it bluntly.

JD and I snuck into the school to ‘Get back at that jackass, Mr. Trinidad’ as JD put it. Of course, I have issues with the man, especially since my last detention, but I’m not sure sneaking into the school to booby trap his desk is a good idea. Somehow, I’ve let JD talk me into doing it anyways and now we’re hiding in the boys bathroom because we caught sight of the guard.

“Fuck, this is going to end badly. I can feel it.” I mumble it, but JD still ends up hearing it, smirking at me with mischievous eyes.

“Maybe, or maybe it’ll end very goodly.” He whispers.

“Goodly isn’t a word,” I counter. He rolls his eyes good naturedly.

After a beat of silence, he opens the door to look out into the hallway,” It’s clear. Let’s go.” JD slips out and I follow behind him. We walk quickly, trying to make little noise. When we reach Mr. Trinidad’s classroom door, it’s locked,  just like the one JD picked to get us into the school in the first place. He lowers himself to the ground, pulling out a bobby pin and sticking it into the lock.

“You wanna learn?” he asks, looking up,” Might get ya outta trouble one day.”

“Sure,” My curiosity gets the better of me. I watch as he twist and wiggles the pin. He quietly explains to me what every little move does and what he’s trying to find. I nod along, finding myself surprised that I actually understand. I assumed you just put something in, wiggle it around, and eventually it would unlock. Evidently, that is not the case.

“Got it,” he tells me, slowly opening the door,” Come on.”

Once inside, I close the blind on the window as JD instructed when going over our plan. Flipping the light switch on, we find the abandoned classroom in perfect order.

JD slips the large bag off his shoulder and onto the ground.

“You ready?” He asks.

I nod,” Ready.”

 

* * *

 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe we did that.” I say laughing. JD and I end up at the gas station where we end up getting slushies.

“When he opens his desk tomorrow he’s gonna get a real colorful surprise.” JD cackles.

When JD told me we were putting a glitter explosive in his desk, I didn’t actually think we would be able to do it, but somehow we did. Actually, JD bringing an explosive anything to the school should probably alarm me, but I’m surprisingly okay with what we did. Even if it was technically illegal. Why is it that no matter what world I live in, JD and I end up committing crimes together?

“Ya know, I feel like I can do anything right now!” I take a large sip of my slush, regretting it a moment later when I have a brainfreeze.

JD laughs at my pain. The ass.

We sit in a comfortable silence after that. Just sitting on the same curb that JD confessed his greatest regret.

The bell of the gas station’s door catches my attention and I find myself staring at a familiar face from school. Peter Dawson. Another childhood friend that I grew apart from. Although, I suppose we were all friends when we were children, weren’t we? God, did middle school fuck us up that bad?

“Hey, Peter.” I call to him. He turns, startled. Once he sees who called out to him he relaxes, offering a small wave,” What are you doing out so late?” It’s probably ten at this point. I really should be home since I have school tomorrow, but my parents said that as long as I’m home by midnight I can do as I please.

“Oh,” his face turns red,” just ya know. Grabbing snacks.” It’s only then that I notice he’s carrying a bag. A magazine peeks out from the top and at find myself staring at it in surprise. It isn’t the fact that Peter is gay that surprises me, It’s that he actually went out and got gay porn in public. That takes some balls.

Peter seems to catch on to my thoughts and stuffs the magazines down further into the bag,” It’s not what you think! I-it’s-”

“Peter,” I say calmly. He stops, his face frozen in fear now,” Your secret is safe with me.”

He releases a loud sigh of relief, “Thanks. I’ll see you later, Veronica.”

I watch him leave, sighing when JD elbows me,” Did you want something? Or did you just want to cause me bodily harm?”

JD opens his mouth, but shuts it just as quickly. He looks down at the ground before telling me,” I’m gonna miss you.”

I frown, confused,” What? Wait, you’re leaving?”

He shakes his head, eyes focused on a crack in the concrete,” Not yet, but I will. I always leave.”

That’s right. JD moves a lot. He’ll most likely have to leave at some point. I want to tell him that there’s nothing to worry about. That he won’t have to move to the opposite side of the country, but I don’t know that. He could have to leave in two days from now for all I know. So instead I tell him,” I’ll miss you too.”

I think it was the right thing to say because he smiles,” I’ve never had friends like you and Kurt before. Martha and Ram are pretty great too.”

I smirk slightly,” Yeah, I am known to be awesome.” He lets out a short bark of laughter and I shove him, mock pouting,” Don’t make fun of me.”

He slouches against me, “Thank you. For being my friend.”

“It’s an honor to be your friend, Jason Dean.” I snort at the use of his full name.

“Okay, way to ruin the moment, dick” He pulls away from me, buts he’s got a grin on his face.

 

* * *

 

When I get home and into bed, my eye catches the hourglass. It’s halfway to it’s end and in a moment of panic I realize that one of the people that mean the most to me might die in just a week and a half. I close my eyes to calm myself down, but the anxiety keeps rising. I unwillingly think back to a dead Heather Chandler, blue running down the side of her mouth. Kurt and Ram with bullets in them. JD exploding. I remember each of their dead bodies. The cold skin of Chandler. The holes in the jocks from a gun. What was left of my ex…

A sob escapes my mouth and my hand comes up to grip my shirt. Unwelcome tears drip down my cheeks. I’m having a panic attack. Logically, I know it will pass eventually, but in that moment it feels like it will never stop. The pain in my chest. I contemplate calling someone, anyone, to help calm me down, but it’s the middle of the night and I don’t want to bother them with my issues.

McNamara always told me that they would eventually stop, but I don’t think they will.

Eventually, I calm myself down. I slowly rise from bed and on shaky feet, I stumble towards the bathroom. My face is splotchy and snot drips from my nose. I take a few minutes to clean myself up before heading back to my bedroom. I just want to rest.

When I lay in bed, I find a note on the pillow reading _‘It’s okay to ask for help sometimes-T’._

Sleep doesn’t come to me.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured I would go ahead and upload this since the last chapter didn't even have 1,000 words total.


	10. Blue's clues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie finds what she thinks might be a clue for a death and Ram has a party with his buds.
> 
> Also Chansaw fluff

Apparently the whole school has heard about the glitter bomb in Mr. Trinidad’s desk and everyone is calling the pranker(s) the ‘greatest pranking legend ever’. Most of the work was JD, but I take pride in every piece of gossip about the prank. And the greatest part is that no one will ever know it was us.

“I know it was you and JD.” is the first thing out of Kurt’s mouth when he catches me at my locker. Okay, scratch that. One person will know it was us. Wait, scratch that again. Whatever Kurt knows, Ram knows. So, two people know it was us.

“Well, someone bailed on us last night so we had to have fun other ways.” I tell him. I know I’m being snappy, but I’m still exhausted after last night. Add no sleep on top of a panic attack and you have the perfect recipe for asshole Veronica.

Kurt, doesn’t seem to notice though and actually gives me a giant grin,” I have a good reason for that.” 

“And that is?”

“I told Ram.”

HOly ShiT!” And he likes you back?” I whisper, coming closer to him.

“No, no, no!” He waves his hands,” I meant, just the part about me being… ya know.”

“Oh,” I’m slightly disappointed, but also really proud of Kurt,”and I’m guessing he took it well?

“Yeah, actually. He just said how cool it would be to enjoy a threeway every single time since I sorta dig chicks and dudes.” He scratches the back of his head, a slight blush on his cheeks.

I laugh at the boy’s expression. He looks completely overwhelmed, but in a good way.

“Good.” I tell him, yawning. I can feel my eyelids drooping, but I force myself to smile for Kurt. It’s then that he really gets a good look at me.

“Woah, you look like shit, Vee.” I raise my eyebrows at the nickname. That’s a new one. 

“Gee, thanks.” I drawl.

“No, I meant.” he shakes his head before putting his hand on my shoulder,” You okay? You look tired.”

“I’m fine.” I tell him.

“Okay, usually when a girl says she’s fine, she means the opposite, so how about you tell me what’s up?” he really is the big brother I never wanted, isn’t he?

I take a moment before I respond, not sure how he’ll react,” I had a panic attack, that’s all.”

His face turns incredulous,”’That’s all’? Veronica, Panic attacks are really serious.”

“Kurt, can we not talk about it?” I ask. 

Kurt looks like he wants to argue, but backs down, realizing he’s fighting a losing battle.

“Okay.” He puts his arm around my neck, pulling me close,” but if you need to talk, I’m here.” and with that he pulls me towards our lunch table. The one I now share with the Heathers, Kurt, Ram, Martha, and JD. We’re starting to lose room with all these people.

 

* * *

 

“We’re going to a party tonight.” Chandler tells me at lunch.

“That’s tonight?” I ask. I can’t believe I forgot.

Chandler seems to be thinking the same thing,” I’ve reminded you everyday this week. Well except yesterday since someone bailed on our dinner.” I get a vague sense of Deja Vu from that line. I think I said something very similar to Kurt not even twenty minutes ago.

“Um well…” I trail off, not knowing how Heather would react to me asking to take the night off.

She scrutinizes me carefully, her brow furrowed,” Are you okay?”

I think about telling her’ Yes, I’m great and can’t wait for the party’, but I know she’ll see right through it. I shake my head,” No, not really.”

She puts her hand on my knee, worry etched on her face,”Do you need me to take you home?”

“No, no I’m fi-okay. I’m okay.” I hesitantly place my hand over hers,” Thank you though.”

Chandler looks down at our hands and her mouth falls open, but nothing comes out. She glances back up at me and I smile gratefully. 

Heat makes it’s way to her cheeks and she shyly turns her hand upwards so that our palms touch. I watch as she slowly interlocks our fingers together, a small smile gracing her lips.

I look away from her face and to the others who are all in the middle of their own conversations. They haven’t noticed our little exchange. 

I feel a thumb caress my skin and turn to see Chandler looking down, refusing to look at me, but the smile is still on her face.

“We don’t have to go to the party.” she says softly.

I look to her in confusion, I thought this was my big night of party induction. I don’t question it though, I merely thank her and move on from that line of conversation.

Glancing back at my friends, I notice Duke’s gaze on me. She has her eyes squinted so intensely that it looks painful.

She glances down at my arm and then to Chandler, mouthing to me,’Are you holding hands?’

I feel my face flare up slightly and nod slowly. Duke smirks all smug like and gives me a thumbs up. I glare at her until she puts her hand down, not wanting JD to catch wind of this and start making CHNASAW t-shirts. She chuckles silently to herself and goes back to her conversation with Mac.

Chandler’s leg touches mine and I jump slightly, not expecting the contact.

“Sorry,” she giggles, actually giggles, before saying,” I was trying to get your attention.”

“Well you have it now,” I inform her.

“Well I was wondering if you, well, um…” She trails off nervously.

“Veronica!” A loud, angry voice catches my attention. Letting go of Heather’s hand, I turn to find none other than Peter Dawson coming straight towards me. Kurt is up and out of his seat to defend me if he needs to and it’s a good thing he did because Peter takes a swing at me. Kurt has the smaller boy in a headlock before the fist can reach me. There’s a struggle between the two before Peter gets away from Kurt and backs away from him and the table,” You think you can just do what you want now that you’re part of the popular crowd?”

I’m up and out of my seat,” Peter what the hell?!?””

“Don’t play dumb with me!” He’s yelling and the whole cafeteria is watching us. 

“Peter, calm down.” JD is up from his seat and standing next to me now trying to calm the angry boy.

“She outed me!” He screams at JD.

I look at him in utter confusion, glances at JD and Kurt. Kurt looks bewildered by the claim, but JD looks almost… guilty. Oh..no.

“Peter,” I say gently,” I didn’t out you. I would never do that to someone.” The boy looks at me in suspicion, obviously still not believing me.

“Then who did?” He questions,” You’re the only one who knew.”

“No, she’s not,” JD speaks up. He’s staring down, refusing to meet Peter’s gaze. I watch as the realization dawns on the angry boy’s face.

“You?” He hisses. I’ve never seen the guy so mad before. He looks ready to snap JD’s head off. I step slightly in front of JD in case Peter decides to do something rash, Kurt doing the same.

“Peter, calm down, okay?” 

“Calm down? CALM DOWN! I”ll calm down when he APOLOGIZES!” He seethes.

“I’m sorry,” JD rushes out immediately after.

Peter glares, but says nothing. There’s complete silence in the room. No one dares move a muscle. It seems like forever, but eventually, Peter says very quietly,” You’re dead.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. A promise that leaves a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Time told me to look for clues for the deaths. Could this be one? Surely someone like Peter would never...

And with that, the boy walks away, leaving the entire cafeteria staring at JD, Kurt, and I. JD looks more upset than I’ve ever seen him before and Kurt is awkwardly putting a hand on his shoulder as if to offer some sort of comfort.

There’s a soft murmur across the room and all eyes are still locked on us when Heather Chandler stands and glares, raising her voice,” What the hell are you all looking at?”

And with that simple question/threat everyone is back to their own conversations. I shoot Chandler a look of gratitude and check on JD. He still seems upset, but assures me that he’s okay. We all end up taking our seats at the table once again, but there’s now an unease that wasn’t there before Peter’s abrupt appearance.

We mostly just stare at one another in an awkward silence until, surprisingly, Ram interrupts it,” If everyone feels like it, we could have a night at my house. Like, alcohol, games, stupid shit,” and when everyone looks to him in shock, he defensively adds, “I just thought it would make the weirdo feel better alright?” He huffs and Kurt laughs fondly at him.

“We can’t,” Duke chimes in,” We’re taking Veronica to a party tonight.” Mac nods along.

“No, we can skip it,” Chandler tells them. 

Duke raises an eyebrow at this, but doesn’t question it, “As long as I still get alcohol.” 

“I’m okay with going to Ram’s place!” McNamara happily bounces in place at the words. She looks to Martha, tilting her head slightly,” What about you, Martha? Are you coming?”

Martha looks to be taken off guard,” Oh, me? I don’t think Ram really wants me there.”

Ram looks up in confusion,” I’m throwing a mini party for the trench coat weirdo. Why wouldn’t  _ you _ be able to come? You’re like the most normal person here?” JD looks slightly offended at that for moment before slowly nodding his head in acceptance at Ram’s words. I’m not sure if he was offended by being called a weirdo or because he thought he was the most normal one here, but he seems to have rethought whichever.

Martha stutters for a moment before completely closing her mouth, nodding in consent. Mac lets out a small whoop and the whole table laughs at her excitement.

Chandler suddenly turns to me,” Are you feeling well enough to go?”

I think for a moment. I really am tired and don’t feel like going anywhere, but I’d like to be there for JD.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

She gives me a small smile. Suddenly, JD’s voice breaks out.

“Why didn’t anyone ask if I actually wanted a party?” he asks.

It’s Kurt who answers him,” Shut the hell up. You’re getting a party.”

  
  


* * *

 

Ram’s house is actually much nicer without hundreds of people in it. Smells a lot better too.

“This is bullshit! He’s cheating!” The exclamation comes from none other than Duke. We’re all stuck in a riveting game of strip poker and JD is kicking all of our asses. Except dear Martha who opted out of playing to be the sole dealer.

“And how exactly am I cheating sweetheart? You got the trenchcoat off of me hours ago. Nothing up my sleeves.” Is the boy’s reply to the ugly accusation. 

“I don’t know how you’re doing it, but I WILL find out,” she sneers. McNamara pats her arm gently, before folding her cards.

We’re still fairly early into the game and most of us still have most of our clothes. Except for Kurt and Mac that is. Kurt is down to his underwear and socks, while Mac only has her skirt and lacy, yellow bra. Neither are very shy about their bodies and haven’t been very affected by the lack of clothing. McNamara’s showing skin does however seem to be distracting both Duke and JD. Hmm…

“Can we play something else?” I complain,” This is boring. And Martha isn’t even getting to play.”

Ram huffs in agreement and throws his cards to the top of the table,” Everyone to the living room!”

“And get your clothes on for the love of god!” Chandler say rather pointedly towards Kurt.

We all find our discarded clothes and head to the living room, Kurt and Mac taking the longest time. When McNamara appears with her clothes on Duke seems slightly disappointed and I can’t help the snicker I release. And I swear to you that Duke has some sort of sonar for when someone is thinking or talking about her because she looks directly at me, staring into my soul for answers as to why I’m laughing at her. I shake my head in her direction and she points her fingers to her eyes and then to me.

“I’m watching you.” she whispers.

“Someone has a guilty conscious,” I whisper back.

“Okay, listen up!” Ram reenters the room (and when did he even leave?) with a box,” In this box in shot glasses, alcohol, and an empty bottle. Time for 7 minutes in heaven!”

Well, this certainly won’t be boring.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be taking a short break (3-4 days) hope you guys don't mind.
> 
> Also I wanted to say thanks to those of you who have been following this story from the very beginning and are still super supportive of it like Meche and Menichiroco and lots of others! I appreciate it so much!
> 
> Oh and Maddy, hope you enjoy the chapter and your days have been getting better!


	11. Party at Ram's house!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie and Ram are in the closet
> 
> Duke has anger

When Martha and I were younger we would daydream about going to parties with the popular kids and Martha would always tell me about her one fantasy. It involved her, Ram, and a large, purple lamp for some reason in a closet during 7 minutes in heaven.

Instead in real life, it’s Ram and I in the closet.

“So…” he drawls. We both look at each other awkwardly, wishing to be anywhere but here. It isn’t that I’m uncomfortable with Ram, I would just rather not be stuck in a closed space with him is all.

“So…” I copy him. He looks to me for a moment before his face becomes serious and he fidgets, rearranging himself on the floor.

“Can I ask you something?” His voice is quiet, a serious look on his face.

I take a minute to reply,” I guess.”

“It’s just that… Kurt told me you had a panic attack and,” he takes a small breath, “I just wanted you to know that if you needed someone to talk to about that sort of stuff, you can talk to me.” he tries to give me a smile, but it comes out as an awkward grimace. I don’t understand why the boy would offer and my confusion must show on my face because Kurt tells me,” I just- I’m used to this stuff. I’ve dealt with it before and I know what it does to someone.”

“What do you mean you’ve dealt with it before?” I blurt out.

He gives a sad smile,” My sister. She used to get them.”  
I find my mouth agape,” Sister?”

“She’s nine years older than me. You probably don’t remember her.”

I shake my head because no, as far as I knew, Ram was an only child.

Ram seems to take my silence as a negative and tries to persuade me,” I know you may not like talking about it, but it gets better when you do and I think it would make everyone happy if you were okay.”

I slowly nod and feel a weight that I wasn’t even aware of lift from my shoulders,” Thank you, Ram”

He shrugs, looking rather uncomfortable with my words,” No problem.” Suddenly he gets a wicked grin on his face and I can tell that something terribly stupid is going to come out of his mouth,” If you really wanna thank me though,” he leans closer to me,” I wouldn’t mind seeing you and Heather Chandler going at it.”

Staring with a gormless expression, I tell him, “I’ll kiss Heather when you kiss Kurt.”

I don’t expect anything to come from the words, but the jock glares and a pink rises to his cheeks. I feel my brow rise in surprise and he hisses,” Ronnie, keep your mouth shut.”

I raise my hands as a show of peace and the boy in front of me relaxes.

Well, what do you know? Maybe Kurt’s feelings aren’t one-sided.

“For the record,” I say confidently,” When I finally kiss her, it won’t be because of a dumb dare, so don’t even try that tonight.”

His face lights up in slight glee and he smirks at me,” Hell yeah, Veronicaaa!” He reaches up for a high five and I give in, slapping our palms together.

**_Knock knock knock_ **

“Time is up dweebs!” The familiar voice of Duke calls through the door and Ram and I both jump up from the floor.

“Ow. My ass hurts,” I whisper. I catch Ram shaking his leg  and I know that I’m not the only one in pain.

“Who’s dumb idea was this?” he asks.

“Pretty sure it was yours.” I tell him opening the door.

 

* * *

 

Chandler and I have curled up on Ram’s couch at some point during the game and are both slightly tipsy. My head lays on her shoulder and her hands somehow wound up in my hair. 

I'm not sure I would be in this position without some alcohol. I mean, I'm slowly accepting that I want something more with Heather Chandler, But my last relationship ended with my ex-boyfriend trying to murder an entire school. And... that ex is now in a different timeline with me where he's one of my best friends...  Life is just a little complicated. So, yeah. I'm trying to not just jump into this, but at the same time I wanna go in head first. 

“I told you he was a fucking cheater!” A scream from the inside the closet makes everyone startle. JD flings himself out of the door and an angry Duke follows behind him holding cards in her hand,” Look at what I found in his pants!”

I give her a strange look,” Duke, why were you in JD’s pants?”

She looks at me, looking incredibly peeved,” It wasn’t like that you perv!”

“Suuuree, Dukey poo~” I laugh at her anger. Until I see her walking towards me that is,” Duke, what are you doing? Duke?” She lunges for me and I take off in the opposite direction, knocking into Chandler and Martha and I dart past them both. Martha give a startled yelp and Chandler gives an annoyed growl. I’m not sure if the growl was aimed at me or Duke.

“C’mere Sawyer!” I can hear her footsteps.

“Fuck off!” I scream behind me.

“Run, Ronnie!” JD screeches in the distance.

I can hear Kurt and McNamara laughing, but I give no thought to their betrayl, only thinking of my survival for now.

Ya know, I kind of love these idiots though.

“Don’t break anything! My parents will kill me!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short chapter of shenanigans from our friends. I just wanted to give you guys something since I've been gone for a few days
> 
> Since this is so short, expect another chapter within 24hrs ;)


	12. Shopping and Flopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duke and Ronnie take a trip to the mall
> 
> Time isn't a dick?

After Duke attempted to murder me at Ram’s house, she decided to apologize by taking me shopping with her. Not that I’m extremely keen on going shopping with any of the Heathers. We have very different tastes in fashion.

We had started off the day actually shopping for clothes, but by mid afternoon we somehow ended up in a jewelry store that I’ve never been in before. I’m not entirely sure why we’re here, but Duke is very focused on the gold necklaces on display.

“Martha told me something interesting the other day.” My words make the other girl stop her browsing. She looks up to me in confusion, but a smirk overtakes her face.

“Did she tell you that you’re super lame?” She barks out a laugh making me roll my eyes. The girl likes to pretend to be mature, but she has the humor of a juvenile.

“No, she said that the two of you used to be friends actually.” My voice is laced with confusion, but mostly curiosity.

Duke leans against the display case and gives me a small frown,” You gonna give me a lecture on abandoning her or something?”

I shake my head,” No.”

“Then what do you want, Ronnie?” She hasn’t moved from her spot. She crosses her arms, shifting slightly,” Dunnstock has probably already told you the whole story. Why ask me?”

I lean against the case, looking to the necklaces Duke was previously engrossed with,” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Martha would ever lie to me, I just wanted to hear your side.’

She looks thoughtful, murmuring,” Okay, but first you’re going to help me pick out a necklace.”

Although confused, I nod, still looking to the jewelry,” What’s the occasion?”

Duke shyly glances arounds the store before her gaze comes back to me,” It’s a gift.”

From her behavior, I think I have an idea of who she’s getting it for, but I still ask,” For?”

“Heather.” And although she doesn’t give me a last name, I know she’s talking about Mac.

I hum in acknowledgement, looking through my options. Everything here is expensive and I know that all the Heathers have plenty of money, but this seems a little ridiculous for a gift for a friend. Unless Duke isn’t getting it for _ friendly  _ reasons. She doesn’t really try to hide her feelings, but at the same time she’s never declared anything to McNamara. At least not to my knowledge. So, maybe, In her own Heather Duke way, this is her acknowledging her feelings?

“Heather?” A voice call from somewhere in the back of the shop,” and this must be Veronica!”

A tall, blonde man comes from behind the counter to greet Duke and I. Although I’ve never met this man before, there’s something very familiar about him. He’s well built and has a kind smile on his face. He reaches for a hug from Duke which causes the girl to momentarily tense, but once the man chuckles, she relaxes in his hold.

“Hello, Mr. McNamara,” her voice is slightly muffled due to the hug.

The man, Mr.McNamara, let’s Duke go and gives the girl a mock disapproving look,” Now, how many times have I told you to call me Henry?”

Duke reddens slightly, muttering under her breath.

Mr. McNamara turns to me and offers his hand,” You’re Veronica, right?”

My shock dwindling, I return the man’s handshake,” You’re Mac’s father?”

His mouth switches at the name, “That’s my baby girl!” 

He drops my hand and I’m taken off guard how much this man looks like his daughter. Or, I suppose it would be the other way around. Mac looks like him. It seems like she got her personality from him as well.

“So, girls, did you come to visit me or did you need to buy something?” His voice rings out, taking me from my thoughts.

My gaze lands on his nice suit and it hits me. This is his store. I always knew Mac’s father sold engagement rings because the waitress at my favorite diner in town, Jenny Killian, told me so when she showed off her new ring. I guess it never came to mind that he might own a jewelry store of his own. 

“I’m looking for a necklace,” Duke tells him,” Ronnie is helping me look.”

“Ah, I see. Well when you find what you need you just let me know. You’ll get the family discount, Duke.” He rests his hand on her shoulder and gives me a smile, “It was nice meeting you, Veronica.”

With that goodbye, the man walks away to go back to whatever it was he doing before he found his daughter’s friends.

“Heather is his pride and joy,” Duke informs me when he’s gone,” You can probably tell by the way he talks about her.”

I think back to the happiness on his face from just hearing his daughter’s name,” They’re close then?”

Duke nods her head in the affirmative,” Very.”

We sit in silence for a moment before I break it,” You’re close to her family?”

She does nothing but stare at me for a moment, as if deciding whether to answer or not. Eventually she frowns, telling me,” To her and her father, sure.”

Catching her meaning I ask the obvious question,” But not her mother?”

“Her mother has… some issues,” Duke informs me,” Heather doesn’t like me being around her.”

Knowing when not to push too much, I drop the subject. I have a feeling that if I keep on, Duke will close off completely. 

Suddenly, a thought hits me,” So did we come here for that family discount?”

Duke smirks at me, “50% off any purchase. Mr- Henry never lets Chandler or I pay full price.”

I nod, suddenly understanding her need for it to be this store that we went to and not the one across town like I had initially suggested.   
“Let’s find McNamara a necklace.” I bump her shoulder with my own.

“Let’s do it.” She smiles.

 

* * *

 

After Duke and I finally picked out a nice necklace for Mac, we decided to stop at the food court.

“So, I promised you a story.” Duke takes a bite of the salad in front of her. She looks at it as if it’s a monster, but eats it as of my request. She’s agreed to eat as much as she can and promises she won’t run to the bathrooms afterwards, but I can still see the desire on her face.

“You do.” I agree, biting into the fries sitting on the table. Perhaps mall food wasn’t the best decision. 

“What did she tell you?” Duke asks me. The she in question being Martha.

“That the two of you were friends when you were younger,” I start, stating the obvious fact,” and that you’re friendship broke off like most childhood friendships do.”

She gives me a disbelieving look,” That’s all?”

I shrug my shoulders,” That’s all.”

She doesn’t look like she believes me,” Then why were you making such a deal out of it in the store?”

“I wasn’t,” I tell her blandly,” You were.”

At that she looks stumped,” So why are we even talking about it?”

I take my time before answering, shoving another fry into my mouth,” I’ve seen you looking at Martha with that guilty look of yours. Thought you might want to talk about it.” I nonchalantly tilt my chair back slightly, getting a better look at the girl.

She glares slightly,” What’s there to talk about? We were friends, then we weren’t, and after I joined the Heathers I was a bitch to her. End of story.”

I set my chair down, sighing,” Ya know, we were all friends once upon a time. No one hated anyone. What happened?” I’m not necessarily speaking to Duke in that moment, but she replies anyway.

“Popularity happened.” She smashes her fork into her salad, making a mess on the table.

I feel my eyebrow raise at her anger. Or maybe it’s not anger. Maybe it’s that guilt again.

We sit in a tense silence until my quiet words break it,” She forgives you.”

“She shouldn’t.” Is the only response I get back.

“That really isn’t up to you, is it? They’re her emotions.” I watch the fork’s pressure lighten,” You really should talk to her.”

With a defeated sigh, she sets the fork down. Looking up, I’m taken off guard by how unguarded and open she looks right not,” She was the only person who would talk to me. Everyone thought I was weird because I wanted to read at recess instead of playing tag and getting all dirty in the mud.”

I snort at that, thinking of a tiny, angry Duke stomping her foot in anger at the messy children coming in from recess. 

She gives me a slight disbelieving look,” I just bared my soul to you and you’re laughing?”

“Sorry,” I say, but I still have a smirk on my face.

Duke glares for a moment before a small grin takes place on her lips,” Who am I kidding? Little me was lame.”

“No,” I tell her,” She sounds pretty great.”

Duke’s grin widens at that,” Hey, Ronnie?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a good friend. And… I’ll talk to Martha.”

  
  


* * *

 

It’s rather late when I get home, but my parents are still up, watching something on the tv.

“Veronica, dear, someone left a package for you. I left it on your bed.” My mother calls to me as I head for my room.

“Thanks, mom!” I call back,” I’m heading to bed. Love you, guys”

“Have you eaten?” Mom again.

After assuring them that I had indeed eaten, I rush to my bedroom, hoping to get away from their questions.

Once inside, I close the door, heading for the bed to hopefully pass out, when I find a box taking my regular spot on the bed. They weren’t kidding.

Sitting down, I take the box and rip the top open. I slowly remove the paper inside and find…

“An hourglass?”

“Yes, an hourglass.” There’s the voice again.

“Hello, Time. Would you care to explain why you’ve given me another one of these  _ death counters _ .” I hiss the last two words.

“You didn’t seem to get the meaning of my last message for you, so I thought I take things into my own hands.”

Last message? Oh! After my panic attack.

“I’d like for you to tell one of your friends, Veronica.”

I feel my eyes go wide,” What? Why? Isn’t that like, against the rules?”

Time laughs that strange laugh of his, the rumble,” I think time travel is general is against the rules, wouldn’t you say so?” I open my mouth to respond, but Time continues,” It does not matter who you tell, but choose wisely, Veronica. This second hourglass is for them.”

“Wait,” I need to get this out before Time leaves,” I’m sorry for being an ass the last time we spoke. I was angry.”

My head falls, ashamed at my past actions.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up to find Time smiling down at me,” It’s alright, Veronica. All is forgiven.”

And with that, he’s gone again.

Letting out an exhausted sigh, I can’t help but fall back onto my bed.

Who should I let in on my secret?  _ Can _ I trust anyone with this? 

I won’t let Martha in on this. She doesn’t need to be in on this crazy shit. She deserves to be happy, not stressed over keeping people alive.

Chandler… No. Not after what JD and I did in the past timeline. I couldn’t.

Duke, I could use. She’s smart and I’d like to think that she might believe me after I explain everything to her. And she’s proved to be loyal.

There’s also Kurt or Ram. I don’t think either boy would be much help with this. 

JD could definitely help. He might not have the brains that Duke does, but he has skills that could help me. And even if he didn’t believe me at first, he would still help.

There’s also McNamara though. She would most likely be the only one to believe me as soon as I told her. She might not offer what Duke and JD could, but Mac has always been able to calm me when my thoughts go bad.

So, Duke, JD, or Mac.

This is gonna be difficult.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm letting you all vote in the comments on who Veronica chooses to tell her secret to. The choices are only Duke, JD, and Mac though. Kurt, Ram, Chandler, and Martha will not be involved in the hourglass business
> 
> The choice will not be revealed next chapter or the one after that so you'll have a couple days to vote.
> 
> I honestly could not pick between the three so I'm leaving it up to all of you.


	13. Another Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look through the other's eyes

**Heather Duke’s POV**

 

“Mac loved the necklace by the way,” I tell Ronnie by way of greeting. I hate to admit it, but the girl does tend to give me good advice. Heather adored the gold jewelry that Veronica helped me pick out, which is really all that matters to me. I might have had to endure that terrible talk about my feelings and what not with Veronica, but I’d say it was well worth it to see the smile on Mac’s face.

“Oh,” she doesn’t give much of a reaction. She’s fairly absorbed in whatever it is she’s writing in  her notebook. I try to catch a glimpse of the words on the paper, but she quickly shuts it. I think I caught JD’s name in it, but I don’t know why she’d be writing about the ‘Chansaw’ fanboy. Like, who the hell spends their time coming up with a portmanteau for his friends anyways? I’m not sure why Veronica hangs out with him, but I won’t complain if she’s happy I suppose.

“Hey, Duke?” Her voice takes me away from my musings.

“What?” I ask cautiously. The last time she approached me with such a serious voice we ended up talking about emotions and shit.

“If you knew what happened in the future, what would you do with that?” I think maybe she’s lost her mind, but I answer her anyways.

Shrugging dismissively, I tell her,” World domination. Probably.”

She scoffs in exasperation,” No, seriously. I me- like- If you messed up the past and wanted to fix it, would you?”

I think about it for a moment. I wouldn’t _not_ want to fix it if I messed up something, but I’m not sure I’m thinking on the same page as Veronica. She’s all fidgety. Like the day she became a Heather in the bathroom stall. There’s a nervousness in her that I haven’t seen in awhile. At least not since we’ve become friends.

“Veronica, What are you trying to ask me?” I ask. She’s not really making any sense, but I can tell she’s actually looking for an answer from me.

She bites her bottom lip, looking at the notebook,”Let’s say that you made some mistakes and were given a chance to fix them, but everyone else forgot your past mistake and yet you still remember. Would you use that information for good or for… something else?”

I’m still not completely understanding what she’s asking, but I think I get it for the most part,” Well, I’m a selfish person,” I tell her,” I’d probably make a lot of selfish decisions, but I’d also make sure the people I care about are happy. Where the hell is this coming from?”

She contemplates my words and opens up her notebook before writing something down in it,” That helped, Duke. Thanks.” She gets up to leave and I try to stop her, slightly worried from her behavior.

“Hey, you’re okay, right? I don’t have to have Kurt beat anyone up again?” I’d hurt them myself if I had to, but I _did_ just get my nails done so I’d rather leave that to Veronica’s bodyguard.

Veronica nods her head at me,” I’m okay. I promise.”

She walks away briskly and I can’t help but sigh in the direction that the girl left. She’s so dramatic, I swear. No wonder she caught Chandler’s eye.

 

* * *

 

**JD POV**

 

“Veronica! I need advice!” I catch the girl in the hallway before class.

She looks up surprised,” What’s up, JD?”

I put my arm around the girl’s shoulder, dragging her towards the supply closet. This conversation needs to be had in the most private spot available. If the information I have is leaked to the public, it could ruin my entire plan.

I open the door and lightly push Veronica in first and I quickly follow her in.

“Okay, I have an idea and I think it’ll make us rich,” I know it’s a long shot on convincing her, but I need to try.

Her face is absolutely not amused right now,” Oh really? And what’s that?”

“No, really! Look, everyone loves slushies, but no one wants to go out and buy them. What if we made something that could help make them at home?” I actually thought this one through. It could totally work!

“And how are you gonna do that?” She looks slightly irritated.

I take a moment to sit in silence, staring her dead on. When I finish building up the dramatics, I utter two words,” Salt water.”

Her face falls,” That sounds disgusting.”

“The salt water isn’t actually going into the slushies! We’ll put them in little cubes. Salt water freezes at a lower temperature than regular water.” My voice is getting louder the more excited I get. I can tell by the way Veronica flinches after my first exclamation.

After my explanation, she actually starts to look interested in my idea,” What made you think about this anyways?”

“Well, I kind of wanted to find a way to make it up to Peter for accidentally outing him and I figured he would forgive me if I let him in on our business.” I rub the back of my neck in embarrassment. I really didn’t mean to out the guy. I was just talking to Kurt and it accidently slipped. Some other people overheard our conversation and BAM, Peter is the talk of the town.

She looks slightly sympathetic,” You really didn’t mean to, did you?”

I shake my head sadly,” No, I didn’t.” I take a moment before adding,” Sometimes, I’m afraid that I’m not a good person, Ronnie. I want to do good though.”

She looks at me strangely at my admission,” You really are trying to make up for your mistake, aren’t you?”

I nod, looking at her seriously,” I’m going to make it up to him.”

“Right.” She says. I think I’ve lost her. Ronnie does this thing where she gets lost in her own head sometimes. A lot of times actually, but we all have our weird quirks. Except this time, she looks at me and not out in the distance like she normally does.

“You there, Veronica?” I wave my hand in front of her face and she snaps out of whatever that was.

“Yeah, sorry. I think I need to go, JD.” She smiles apologetically.

“Oh, yeah no problem. I’ve kept you for too long, I guess.” I respond, opening the door for her.

“It’s alright. I’ll see you later.” She says walking away.

I watch as she leaves, taking a pen to a notebook. Did she have that the entire time?

 

* * *

 

**Heather McNamara’s POV**

 

A hand lands on my shoulder, startling me. Glancing up, I’m met with the face of one Veronica Sawyer,” Hi Ronnie! What have you been up to today?”

I go back to putting on my lip gloss, seeing Ronnie lean against the sink with a notebook in hand.

“Not much. I’ve actually been conducting my own little question poll. Can I get your answer?” She asks me.

Finished with my lips, I spin on my heels,” Of course! I love these things!”

She smiles brightly,” Alright, So you’re sent back in time with memories of the past. Or future… Whatever. Anyways, What do you do?”

I take a minute to think,” The first thing I would do is probably kiss Dukey.” Veronica’s eyes go wide at that, making me laugh,” But I think I would just do what I could to make sure everyone was happy.” I nod, happy with my answer.

“Hmm,” Ronnie looks down to her notebook and back up to me with a suspicious look,” Did you talk to Duke about this?”

I tilt my head, confused,” No?”

“Your answers are sort of the same,” She tells me. I smile at that. Dukey really has gotten better with people since Ronnie joined us,” You both want to make sure the people around you are happy.”

I grin widely, but Ronnie’s expression causes my joy to fade. She looks worried. I’m not sure what about, but I really do hate to see her sad,” If our answers matching is a bad thing, I can change mine.” I tell her earnestly.

She laughs and shakes her head,” No, it’s okay, Mac.”

I pout, knowing there’s still something bothering her,” Oh come on, Ronnie! The only time I’ve seen you that worried is in my dream.”

She looks up, confusion clear in her eyes,”You had a dream about me? I’m not sure Duke would like that.”

She’s teasing me, but I can still feel my cheeks go red,” Not like that, silly! It was more of a nightmare actually…” I trail off. I don’t like thinking of that dream.

“Mac,” I look up to find Veronica’s concerned gaze, “You know you can talk to me, right?”

I nod, because of course I can talk to Ronnie. She would never judge me. Maybe talking about it will make it better too,” I had this dream a few days ago and I was in the bathroom and I had this bottle of pills for some reason. I don’t know why, but Dukey was being terrible to me. She kept telling me to take them and… I did try, but you came storming in and wouldn’t let me and...” I want to say more, but I don’t think I can. It was a really bad dream.

Veronica is still silent, causing me to worry. I find her with a wide eyed stare,”Oh.”

I look down at that. We sit in silence and because I don’t like silence, I find myself babbling,” It just made me upset because of my mom and all and it just reminded me of her depression and-”

“Wait- your mom has depression?” Ronnie interrupts me.

Looking back up once again, I notice that she looks surprised. Did I never tell her?

“Yeah. She… tried the same thing with the pills a couple years ago, but she’s been doing better. The dream just made me feel like I was walking in her shoes or something.” I shrug, but can feel the sadness come back.

“Mac,” Ronnie takes a step forward, pulling me into a hug,” If you ever need someone to talk to, you can come find me.”

I have a strange feeling of deja vu suddenly.

“Thank you, Ronnie”

  


* * *

 

**Veronica POV**

 

I was hoping that maybe getting answers from my friends would make it easier to decide between them, but it seems to have only made it harder.  I glance down at the notebook in my lap, finding the words I’d written down.

  


Du _ke- Is incredibly intelligent and can probably help me strategize when it comes to preventing the deaths. Has admitted to being selfish  (Although, maybe being self aware of that counteracts it?) Possibly my best friend in this timeline?_

_JD- Has crazy weird skills that could come in handy. Wants to redeem himself with Peter which mean he will most likely want to redeem his past actions ( He might also freak out over the fact that he killed all of his friends though?)_

_Mac- Was one of the only people who cared about me after JD died in the past timeline. Will always be there for me emotionally ( Maybe can’t keep it a secret?) Has weird dreams of the past anyways like what the hell is up with that?_

 

Mac’s dream. How is that even possible?  How can she remember something that she didn’t even go through? And she just thinks it’s some weird subconscious thing that has to do with her mother’s troubled past.

Taking another look at my list, I think I can mark one of the names out.

  


_Duke- Is incredibly intelligent and can probably help me strategize when it comes to preventing the deaths. Has admitted to being selfish  (Although, maybe being self aware of that counteracts it?) Possibly my best friend in this timeline?_

 

~~_JD- Has crazy weird skills that could come in handy. Wants to redeem himself with Peter which mean he will most likely want to redeem his past actions ( He might also freak out over the fact that he killed all of his friends though?)_ ~~

_Mac- Was one of the only people who cared about me after JD died in the past timeline. Will always be there for me emotionally ( Maybe can’t keep it a secret?) Has weird dreams of the past anyways like what the hell is up with that?_

There. Now, should I pick Duke or Mac...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I added this chapter because I wanted to kind of give you all a view on their thoughts. If for some reason anyone wants to change their votes, you are absolutely welcome to do so. 
> 
> Also JD's 'idea' is basically just Slushy Magic (An actual product) in case anyone was wondering. The cubes hold salt water inside and you put them into your drink and then you have a slushy!
> 
> Also, someone asked me the other day why I always called the Heathers by their last name. They said I could probably at least call Heather Chandler by her first name and the others by their last. My response to that is simply that I believe a name holds a lot to people's identity. When you just call a bunch of people in the same room the same thing, I feel like the name loses it's special property. Idk. It probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but I've always liked people being able to identify themselves with something that's theirs and theirs only. Does that make sense?
> 
> Next update will be a short one announcing the winner of the votes. Ill probably post the next chapter Monday so all voting will come to an end by Sunday night.


	14. Bathroom talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie tells a secret

Sitting down and honestly thinking about it, I believe I’ve made the right decision. Mac has always been there for me. She was my rock when I needed her to be and maybe in the other timeline I shoved her and everyone else away, but not this time. Not that I don’t trust Duke, because I do, I just think Mac would be the best person to tell. Especially with this dream thing going on. Still haven’t figure that one out...

I just have to tell her soon. The timer is running down and If I’m correct, I think the hourglass will count down to three days from now. Possibly during the Zombie Paintball tournament?

Right now it doesn’t matter though. What does matter is finding Mac and giving her this hourglass. And getting her to believe me I suppose.

 

* * *

 

I head straight to the bathroom between 2nd and 3rd period, knowing that to be McNamara’s time to do her makeup without the other Heathers. She always ends up missing half of 3rd period, but I always write slips for her to get away with it. It’s probably the only time I’ll be able to catch her alone.

Opening the door, I catch a glimpse of yellow and sigh in relief. She’s here.

“Hey, Mac.” The girl turns at her name, giving me a wide smile as usual.

“Ronnie! Wow, you guys are good at finding me!” Huh?

“Veronica,” A lower voice calls from across the bathroom.

I turn, startled to notice that Chandler is also here. Strange, she’s usually with Duke at this time.

“Hello, Heather.” I offer the red clad girl a shy smile. We try to never act as if we’re more than friends at school, but I think most of the student body has caught onto our feelings for one another. Not that we  _ are _ more than friends. At least, neither of us has admitted it to one another. It’s just lot’s of hand holding and intense eye contact at times.

I’m getting off track. I came here to talk to Mac.

“Would it be alright if I talked to Mac?” My eye catches Mac’s and although she’s still smiling, I see confusion on her face.

Chandler hesitates for a moment before nodding,” Of course, Ronnie.”

She stops by McNamara before she leaves, putting a hand on her the taller girl’s shoulder and offering a small smile. Mac puts her hand on top of Chandler and squeezes. I feel a small pang of jealousy at the scene.

Chandler takes her hand away and walks toward me, stopping to whisper in my ear,” She’s having a bad day. You should talk to her. You’re better with words than Duke and I.” Her low voice sends shivers through my body, but I try to ignore them and nod at her words.

With that, Chandler leaves and all that’s left is Mac and I.

I take a step towards the door that Chandler exited and lock it quickly before stepping over to the sink next to McNamara’s. It’s then that I notice the dark lines under Mac’s eyes.

“Rough night?” I ask, curiously. Is she having nightmares again? That would explain why Chandler was here with her instead of with Duke.

Mac nods her head and goes back to applying her makeup. She puts...something… under her eyelid and slowly the bag becomes harder to see. She starts on the other and I just watch, waiting for her to finish.

She eventually does and puts her things away, turning to me afterwards,” You said I could talk to you about… things. Right, Ronnie?”

I immediately nod,” Of course.”

She shuffles in place, clearly nervous,” I had another nightmare,” I nod, hoping she’ll continue,”This time it was about JD though.” My interest is peaked and she seems to notice by the way she watches my face morph,” He was running through the woods and he gets shot and he starts bleeding. And then you, Kurt, and Ram show up, but-” She stops herself, shaking slightly. She looks as if she’s about to start crying.

I think on her words. Kurt, Ram, and I were all in the woods with JD once, but Kurt and Ram are the ones who end up getting shot. Not the other way around. Unless…

“Mac, what were we wearing in your dream?” She looks at me, dumbfounded.

“Why would I remember that?” she asks incredulous.

“Just… Please, Mac. Try to remember.” I plead with the girl.

Although confused, she sits in silence for a moment, thinking back,” I think you had some sort of vests on. I’m not sure.” She shakes her head.

Maybe… Maybe it isn’t the past she’s seeing this time, but the future. WIth all of us together and with vests on, It sounds like she’s describing the paintball tournament to be quite honest. 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I gather my nerves and start the conversation I’ve been dreading for days,“Mac… I think I know why you’re having these dreams.”

She visibly startles at my words,” I-Really?”

I nod, pulling the hourglass out of my bag,” This is why. I should probably explain…”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was very close, but in the end Mac won. I'm sorry for everyone that wanted Duke, but we'll see Mac in the role of sidekick now! 
> 
> I've become very busy the last few days, so this week you will be getting less updates than usual, but don't worry too much! I'll still be putting them out when I can :)
> 
> We're getting very close to the first possible death, my friends. Be prepared


	15. Bathroom talks (Reprise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why are there so many talks in the school bathroom?

I expected Mac would be easier to convince than the others, but she took everything surprisingly well. There were no harsh words or accusations towards me and not once did Mac think that I was lying to her. I’m not sure if that’s from her trust in me or if the girl is just slightly naive. 

“So, what’s the point of me having this?” The blonde girl asks me.

“Well because…” I trail off. I’m not actually sure why Time was so insistent on someone having an hourglass,” Now you’ll be able to help?” It’s supposed to be a statement, but the uncertainty in my voice phrases it as a question.

Slowly, McNamara nods her head. She wears a confused expression for only a moment before her lips thin in determination. She looks me in the eye,”I can do that.”

I give her a small grin,” Thank you.”

I reach out to give the girl a hug and she latches onto me immediately. Mac, unlike Duke or Chandler, has always been one to love physical touches from others. She giggles before drawing back,” So what’s the plan?”

Right, this is also something I’ve been thinking about,” Well there are a lot of us, ya know? So I need you to watch the others when I can’t.”

Mac frowns slightly,” But there are only two of us and a lot more of them. How are we going to watch all of them?”

“I’m no- I don’t think we  _ can _ watch all of them, Mac. We’ll just have to try our best. Besides, I think I already know who the first timer is counting down to.”

She looks surprised at that,” Really? Who?”

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes,” JD. At least, I’m pretty sure it’s JD?” Once again my words come out in a questioning tone. I open my eyes when Mac doesn't respond.

McNamara’s eyes are narrowed at the hourglass in her hands. I watch as her jaw clenches slightly,” This is actually real..” I’m not sure her words are for me. It seems as if she’s speaking to herself and only herself. I nod my head even though the girl is paying me no attention at this point. 

After telling her everything, well… most things, I had watched her shoulders lift. It was like she finally understood what was happening to her for the very first time. And now she looks defeated once again.

“How do you know? Was it my dream?” Her eyes finally find me once again.

Frowning slightly, I tell her,” Well no. Although, you’re dream did kind of put a nail in my original thought. Time told me there would be clues to tell me who would be the victim.”

Mac leans against the sink and tilts her head,” What clues did you find? Where they, like, in a scavenger hunt thing?”

I can’t help the small chuckle that comes from me at her words. McNamara pouts slightly and I compose myself again,” Sorry, but there wasn’t a scavenger. It was what Peter said at lunch that day. ‘You’re dead.’” 

Mac’s eyes widen in worry,” Do you think Peter is going to try to hurt JD?”

I shrug my shoulders. It’s something that had crossed my mind multiple times if I’m being honest. Time never said that a _ person _ would try to hurt my friends. For all I know, someone could have a damn heart attack, but right now, I’m assuming Peter is somehow involved in this.

“I’m not sure, but it would make sense,” I sigh quite loudly and don’t think before my next words leave me,” I really shouldn’t be surprised that JD is the first one to be targeted. After what he did.”

McNamara looks at me questioningly. I probably could have played that statement off completely, but I know the girl sees the slight panic on my face. I never have been good at keeping things from others. I  _ did  _ shout about how I killed Heather Chandler in the middle of a crowded room after all.

“Why aren’t you surprised?” She asks.

I don’t answer her immediately, which I know has to send off warning bells in her head,” I can just… believe that the idiot is the first.”

Mac scrutinizes me and I feel my panic rise.

“You aren’t telling me everything, are you?” There’s a sad tint to her voice and it breaks my heart, but I can’t tell her the truth. I can’t. She’ll think I’m a monster.

“Of course I am.”

“You’re lying,” She looks down to the ground, avoiding my gaze,” Do you not trust me?”

My eyes widen and I frantically wave my arms,” No no no, Mac! I trust you most of all! That’s why I went to you with this!”

She refuses to pick her head up and I hear a small sniffle.

“Did- Did Duke really…” She trails off, but I understand what she’s asking. It’s something I avoided talking about when explaining. And from the way she doesn’t use her usual nickname for Duke, it makes me suspect she already knows the truth she’s after.

 

* * *

 

_ “So, what you’re saying… is that you… already lived through these days? And you’re trying to save everyone?” _

_ I nod, trying to contain my guilt for not telling her the complete truth,”Chandler, Ram, Kurt, and JD all die in the other timeline. I’m trying to keep that from happening again.” _

_ I can never tell her that I was at fault for their deaths. I can’t. I won’t. _

_ “I’m… not crazy then? These dreams, they’re real?” The blonde asks me. _

_ “Yes, at least… the first one is. You tried to commit suicide and I saved you before you could swallow the pills.” _

_ She looks as if she’s about to ask me something, but fearing that it might be about Duke, I barrel on,” The second one though, that never happened.” _

_ Confusion fills her face,”Then… why would I dream about it?” _

_ “Actually,” I start, swallowing a small lump in my throat,” I think you dreamt of the paintball tournament.” _

_ Mac opens and closes her mouth, taking a moment to herself. She nods slowly to herself, asking me,” So, if that didn’t happen, I guess JD didn’t die during the tournament?” _

_ I contemplate whether to share the nature of my relationship with JD with the girl. Finally, I decide on telling her,” None of us were actually friends in my first timeline…” _

_ Mac looks completely shocked at this,” But- we-what?” _

_ I smile sadly at her,” None of us talked with one another really. None of us were… good people.” _

_ “Oh…” she looks sad again,” That sounds terrible. I really like our friends.” _

_ I smile at the girl,” Me too, Mac. Me too.” _

 

* * *

 

“Duke lost herself after Chandler died. Everything fell apart after that actually.” Is what I tell the sniffling girl,” But that isn’t our Duke now. Our Duke is better than that.”

McNamara actually looks up at that. There are tears in her eyes that refuse to fall,” You’re right.” There’s a hitch in her voice.

“Do you think you and Duke will be okay?” I ask, concerned that I might have messed up their relationship.

She smiles a tiny smile,” Yeah, we’ll be okay.”

I grin at her,” Good, because I need you to watch after Duke and Chandler while I’m with JD, Ram, and Kurt.” 

“What about Martha?” The cheerleader asks.

“Martha wasn’t really caught up in any of the stuff that happened in the past. I don’t think we’ll need to worry about her. Something tells me she’ll be safe.” It’s something I’m really hoping I’m right about. Martha doesn’t need to worry about any of this.

Mac give me a determined nod at that,” Alright, let's do this!” She give a small air pump of excitement that makes me laugh. She rolls her eyes good naturedly at my laugh,” Don’t act like you’re not ex-” she cuts herself off, the smile she wore slowly turning into a frown.

I watch the girl, worried,” You okay, Mac?”

She looks up at me,” What if….” She trails off so I nod encouragingly,” What if I’m one of the deaths, Ronnie?” Her voice is quiet and scared. 

Walking towards the girl, I take her hand in mine,” Then we’ll keep you safe. That’s why I’m here, Mac. I’m gonna save all of you.” 

She gives me a small smile,” Thank you.”

The girls sweeps me into a giant hug and I find that breathing is no longer a thing my body is doing,” Mac!”

“Oops! Sorry!”

 

* * *

 

“How interesting. I would have personally gone with the angry, green one. Much more entertainment for me. Of course, Veronica definitely went with the best choice. I wonder if I should stop by and pay her a visit. Maybe she’d like to know that if she hadn’t chosen the yellow one, the girl would have died. Hmm… No… I pop into her room enough as it is. I’ll let her have her piece for now. Besides, my gift will be running out of sand soon enough.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie tells Mac most of the past. She doesn't actually tell her HOW everyone dies, but everything else is in the open.
> 
> Also, had Mac lost the votes, I had planned on her being one of the ACTUAL deaths in this story. I planned on her dying and becoming a ghost that helps Veronica with saving everyone else. I have to say, I'm really glad she won the votes.
> 
> Time doesn't know the difference in the Heathers really. If you ask him; Duke is the angry, green one; Mac is the yellow one; Chandler is the one that's gay for Ronnie.


	16. Filler up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just some friendship filler

“We’ll take your measurements and then you’re free to go!” the salesman is overly friendly and is honestly slightly annoying. Kurt seems to share my sentiments from the annoyed twitch his mouth gives every minute or so.

“Thanks,” I offer rather blandly. Turning to Kurt, I ask,” Do we have anything else to grab?”

The large boy shakes his head,” No, we’ll have to come back and pick up your equipment once they get your measurements,” He stops for a moment, thinking,” We could get lunch?”

Nodding in the affirmative, I give my favorite jock a smile,” Yeah, sounds good.”

The man with the measuring tape chuckles, offering us the words,” The two of you are such a cute couple.”

I can’t help the snort thSat escapes me. The thought of me and Kurt together is honestly ridiculous and the fact that this isn’t even the first time we’ve been mistaken as a couple makes it even funnier.

I look to Kurt and see the twinkle of amusement in his eyes. His eyes catch mine and they seem to grow serious for just a moment.

“Oh yeah, we’re really lucky have each other” He ducks his head in embarrassment at his words, but I reached out, grabbing his hand.

“Really lucky.” I say and I hold his hand the entire time I’m getting my measurements done. I pretend not to notice the giant grin on Kurt’s face the entire time we’re in the store. The giant puppy.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, so we need a game plan or something.” Pieces of the burger that had previously resided in Kurt’s mouth are now on the table.

“Please close your mouth when you talk,” I beg the boy. He shrugs and does as I ask,” and what the hell are you talking about?”

He swallows his food before speaking,” Vee, what was the the point of getting your measurements today?” Again with the weird nickname. 

Taking a sip of my soda, I ask” The tournament?”

He nods,” Yeah! We need a plan going in there. Out of me, you, Ram, and JD, you’re the smartest.”

“Sooo you want  _ me _ to make a strategy for all of us?” I ask. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure he said something like that back during my first days in the new timeline. 

He nods emphatically,” Yes. We trust you.” 

I stop at that, looking at the boy across from me. He continues to stuff his face with food, not seeming to understand how his words have affected me. Of course, why would he? He has no idea that I betrayed him in a past life. He only _knows_ _how_ to trust me.

“Okay,” I whisper,” I won’t let you down.”

He looks up confused, whispering back,” I know,” he glances around the room,” why are we whispering?”

I laugh at the jock and he looks slightly affronted,” No reason, Kurt. Don’t worry about it.”

He shrugs my strange behavior off and we finish our meal in peace.

“So, how’s everything with Heather?” He eventually asks after finishing off the last of my food.

“Oh, Duke” I ask feigning innocence,” She’s good. We went shopping the other day.”

He gives me an annoyed look and throws a rolled up napkin at me. It has ketchup on it. I give a disgusted shriek and finally give in,” We’re...good. I think. It’s all kind of confusing. We hold hands and we both know we want… _ Something. _ We just don’t know where to go from there.”

I let out a loud, defeated sigh. I glance up to find Kurt giving me a sympathetic look.

“I get it. Me and Ram. I don’t know, dude… Sometimes I think he likes me, but…” He trails off, playing with the straw in his plastic cup.

I take a moment to take in the boy across from me. He doesn’t look like his confident self. He looks sad. I wonder if that’s how I look right now. God, we’re so messed up. I can’t help the laughter that bubbles in my throat. 

Kurt looks at me strangely,” What?’

“Nothing. It’s just,” A laugh rips through my lips,” Our love lives are so messed up.”

The small laughs turn into full blown hysteria and a few people stop to stare at me. Kurt glares at them until they turn away. If this were a movie, Kurt would have given into the madness of the moment and laughed along with me and we would have remembered this moment fondly later in life. But this wasn’t a movie, so Kurt continued to stare at me worriedly and I continued to laugh. It wasn’t a good laugh. 

I eventually calm down and try to wipe away the small tears from the corners of my eyes,” Sorry, Kurt.”

“S’okay” He offers me a napkin.

I take it and dab at the last tears.

“You okay?” He asks me worriedly. He seems to do that a lot, doesn’t he?

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I tell him

He nods at me and we sit in silence for a moment. It’s not really awkward. Nothing is really awkward with Kurt, he just sort of rolls with whatever.

“Wanna go play laser tag?” He breaks the silence.

“...sure.”

 

* * *

 

Duke’s home is nothing and exactly what I expected it to be like. Moderately large and filled with books. And although it was relatively large, It still had a nice, lived in feel. Her mother was home when I arrived and after a few words I found myself liking the woman. It was obvious that Duke had gotten both her intelligence and her snark from the woman. After a small talk she had sent me to Duke’s room upstairs which was surprising green free. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Duke asks incredulously.

“I want you to help me plan a date.” I tell her again.

She crosses her arms and stares and stares and stares. There’s a few moments of silence before she finally speaks.

“Okay.” She says

“Okay?” I ask surprised, but excited.

“Okay.” She repeats calmly.

She grins at me and I can’t help the tiny squeal that leaves my lips as I jump on the girl, tackling her in a hug and squishing her into her bed.

“Okay. No no no,” She tries to shove me off,” I never said this was okay. Stop hugging me.”

“No,” I pull her closer,” You’re my best friend and I want to hug my best friend.”

She stops her struggling at that and very slowly puts her arms around me as well. We sit there for a moment, content. I find myself wondering, has Duke ever really had a best friend before? She has Mac, but it’s obvious that there’s a lot more than friendship going on there. With Chandler, well her friendship with her has always come with some rivalry, so I doubt they were able to get as close as they would have liked.

“I thought Martha was your best friend?” Duke breaks the silence that had fallen over us.

I shrug,” Martha is… Martha is my family, my oldest friend. You’re my best friend”

I let go of the girl, sitting on freshly folded covers on her bed. She scowls at my actions, but she says nothing.

“Well,” She swallows thickly,” You’re my best friend, too,” I open my mouth, but Duke continues,”Now enough with the mushy shit. When are we setting up this date?”

I smile, amused at her obvious discomfort,” Not until after the paintball tournament. I still have a lot to do until then.”

She nods,” OKay then. I’m glad you finally grew some lady balls.”

I grimace,” Must you be so crass?”

She smirks,” Yes.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I'll probably be up at the hospital with family lately, but updates are still coming


	17. It's Called Zombie Paintball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins

JD and I had to go to the football field after school to meet up with Ram and Kurt. The two jocks had decided they wanted to talk about the plan for the tournament I had made the previous day,  but they had football practice. JD and I kept busy talking about nonsense while we waited for Kurt and Ram to finish.

The planning for the paintball tournament had not gone well. I’m not really sure how I was supposed to plan for it in the first place if I’m being honest. They didn’t give me a lot of information. I do however know that there are 5 other teams of four competing and we’ll all be packed into the woods with the chosen equipment from the city administration. I wasn’t entirely sure what ‘equipment’ Kurt was talking about at first, but apparently they’re large, building-like cement figures that are placed randomly as to have somewhere to take cover. I also know I want us split up during this. I need to be able to watch JD the entire time, but I need to be able to do it without drawing suspicion. While I don’t think Ram would ever catch me, I’m pretty sure Kurt would figure out that something is up. So I’ll probably have Ram and Kurt run around the woods looking for others while JD and I hang out around a specific area. We’ll have a verified base, but also be able to cover plenty of ground. It’s the best I’ve got…

“This is great!” Ram yells, taking the paper that I used to write all my ideas on from my hands,”Dude, we’ll totally win with this.”

Kurt looms over his shoulder, reading the words with a scrunched up face. JD nods in my direction, as if he can sense my dislike for what I came up with and is trying to reassure me.

“I didn’t have a lot of time to come up with much,” I tell them,” so it’s probably not very good, I know. Maybe we could ask Duke for advice…”

“No way, Veronica!” Ram shouts excitedly once again,” We’re sticking with your plan! It’s better than what I could have come up with.”

“Same here,”JD informs me,” I’m pretty sure my plan wouldn’t have even been legal.”

I give him a strange look at that,” I’m not surprised by that. LIke...at all.”

JD shrugs at me and turns to Kurt who has now sat down on the bench below us,”You smell.”

Kurt glares at JD,” It’s called working out. You should try it, chicken legs.”

JD puts his hands up in surrender as Ram laughs.

“I like it though,” Kurt tells me while Ram and JD argue over something to do with sports.

I scoff and he reaches for my arm,”Seriously, there’s a reason we wanted your help. Ram and I were just going to yell at people and hope they came out so we could shoot them.”

I laugh thinking he’s joking until I catch the serious look on his face,” Oh wow. Kurt, that’s pretty bad. I mean my plan is bad, but that’s just…”

He lets out a loud chuckle, releasing my arm,” Yeah. We’re not great with brainy stuff, ya know?”

His plan reminds me slightly of our first friendly conversation. He and Ram are loud and explosive. Whether it be with actual explosives in the zombie apocalypse or just in life in general.

I hit his arm softly,”You can be really smart sometimes.”

“Sure,” he rolls his eyes,” and Duke can be really nice.”

“She can!” I say defensively,” and sure, you may not be book smart, but you’re really good with people. You’re smart when it comes to other people and their emotions. I think that’s better than being book smart.”

Kurt looks away for a moment. His gaze eventually comes back to mine and there’s an emotion I can’t place in his eyes. Perhaps gratefulness?,” Thanks, Veronica.”

“Hey!” A familiar voice calls out, interrupting anything I might have said to Kurt.

“Hey, Heather.” Kurt waves at the girl as she makes her way up the bleachers. Her cheerleading skirt sways with every step she takes.

“Hi, Kurt! Hi, Ronnie!” She sits next to Kurt and smiles up at me.

“What are we? Chopped liver?” JD’s blunt voice calls out as he points to himself and Ram.

“Oh!” Mac gasps,” Sorry! Hi JD! Hi Ram!”

“You, uh, you’re kinda loud today, Mac. What’s up with that?” My question catches her off guard.

“Oh you know, still in cheerleading mode,” She says before her face darkens slightly,” I’m also just a bit nervous for tomorrow. I just… don’t want any of you to get hurt during paintball.”

“Pshh,” Ram pounds his chest for...whatever reason,” we’ll be fine. We plan on winning. Not getting hurt.”

Mac smiles and to others it must look genuine, but I can see the scared tremble it gives.

“Well, I really need to hit the shower,” Kurt tells us.

“Me too!” Ram yells grabbing Kurt’s shoulder,” Let’s go, buddy!”

We watch as they walk away, Ram’s hand never leaving Kurt’s shoulder.

“So,” Mac says happily,”when do you think they’ll finally get together?”

I startle at that, looking to the girl in surprise.

“I think they’re secretly hooking up,” JD speaks up before turning to me,” Well?”

“What?” I ask

He sighs,” Are they together? You’re the closest to Kurt.”

I shake my head quite aggressively,” No, they aren’t. Besides, I wouldn’t tell you if they were.”

JD shrugs his shoulders and Mac glances down looking slightly dejected.

Wait. McNamara has practice today. Which means…

“Mac?” she looks up when I call her name,” Do you just skip practice to hang out with the Heathers?”

“Oh, yeah. All the time,” She says it casually,” I mean, I’m the most talented one on the team so they usually don’t care.”

“Right,” I nod at this revelation. So Mac skips practice despite being head cheerleader. Probably not the best example to give the underclassmen, but who am I to judge?

“Well,” JD cuts in,” I need to get home. Give this to Martha for me, would you, Veronica?” He hands me a movie that I instantly recognize.

“You’ve been hanging out with Martha?” I ask him.

He shrugs, jutting out a hip,”Yeah, She’s really cool, actually.”

I take a moment to scrutinize him. He’s doing that thing of his where he tries to act like an 80’s movie star and tries to be ‘cool’. I can’t tell if he’s just nervous about making new friends or if it’s something… different.

“Right,” I nod,” She is.”

JD takes a step down the bleachers and offers a small wave,”I’ll see you tomorrow, Ronnie.”

I swallow harshly at the words,” See you then.”

With just Heather and I now, I take a moment to think. Tomorrow is the tournament. Tomorrow JD could die. Or I could have been wrong this entire time about JD dying and it will be someone else. There’s so much that could go wrong.

I can feel the anxiety rising and so I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing. In and out, Veronica, in and out.

I feel something grab my hand and it startles me. Opening my eyes, I find McNamara’s Hand gripping my own that is now clenched in a fist. I look to find a gentle smile on her lips. I give her a shaky smile back as she brings her other hand to my back. She rubs small circles over my shirt and I find my breathing slowly returning back to normal.

We probably sat in that exact position for a good hour before I finally spoke,” Why is it so hot?”

Mac shrugs, only offering,” JD probably died of heatstroke on his way home.”

I nod in agreement,” Probably.”

It’s his fault for always wearing that trench coat… He’s not… He wouldn’t wear that during the tournament would he?

….

….

Oh, he so would.

 

* * *

  


I didn’t notice them at first, but now that I’ve gotten a good look, there’s no doubt in my mind.

“Kurt, what the hell is this!” I’m not freaking out! This is just really fucking weird!

“What?” He asks confused.

Ram and JD are putting on the last of their paintball equipment (JD did indeed show up with his signature coat and had to be convinced that it would be a bad idea) and Kurt has stepped up to help me with mine now that he is done.

“Why are all these people dressed as zombies?” I screech as quietly as I can. Based on the strange looks Ram and JD give me, I’m guessing I didn’t do well on the quiet part.

Kurt finishes adjusting my equipment and looks at me like I’m dumb, which I really don’t appreciate,”Vee, it’s _zombie paintball._ Didn’t you read the papers I gave you?”

“I mean, kind of,” I say sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck. I didn’t _not_ read it. I just didn’t really go through all of it.

Kurt sighs loudly,” So you have no idea what’s going on.” It’s not a question.

“Uh, well, no.” I concede quietly.

“Okay, listen carefully, Vee,” He looks very serious so I nod,”There are twice the number of zombies as people competing. They get to roam the forest and basically act as a distraction.”

“Oh,” I let out,” That’s not too bad. They just get in the way a little.”

“NO,” he says,” It gets worse. There are eight zombies wearing our color and every other team’s color.”

I look around to the people surrounding us and find them all in an abundance of color. I find a few who are wearing blue, our team color. With all the zombies running around, I can’t seem to find most of the competitors. I’ve found most of the green team and some of the Orange, but none of the red, yellow, or purple team.

“So,” I do some quick mental math,” That means that there are twenty-four competitors and forty-eight zombies. Twelve people will be wearing the color blue, but the four of us are the only ones that count.”

“Uh, sure,” He looks slightly lost from my math,” If we get hit, we’re out of the game. If you hit a zombie, you’re out of the game. You go until only one team is left.”

I nod along, taking in his words. I knew I should have read all of the papers, but I was so distracted I forgot to. Damnit.

“Are all competitors ready?” A voice on a large intercom caught our attention,” Good, because we start now. You have 10 minutes to find a spot, plan, do what you want. I don’t really care. When you hear the loud alarm, the tournament will begin. Ready? Go!”

“C’mon!” Kurt grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the direction Ram and JD took off in.

Shit. I am not prepared for this.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I've explained the rules well enough for everybody. And yes this chapter has a lot of chaos thrown in at the end. This was done on purpose merely for the fact that Veronica may think she has thinks under control, but she really never does.
> 
> Although, if it was too much chaos and anyone got lost at any point during the explanation of the rules, let me know. I'll try to clear it up.


	18. It's Just a Game (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Players are being taken out surprisingly quick by the Red and Blue teams
> 
> JD comes to a shocking realization
> 
> Veronica finally understands

My feet pound against the ground. Kurt and I leave a trail of broken sticks and crumpled leaves as we run after JD and Ram. They aren’t too far ahead of us, still in sight, but far enough for JD to throw the occasional glance back to make sure we’re all together.

I can feel myself getting tired already. I’m not a very athletic person as it is and with the added weight of the paintball equipment and the gun strapped onto me, I’m running out of energy.

“Where are we going?” I call out to Kurt, who’s slowly pulling ahead of me.

He turns his head back to answer when he seems to notice my slowing pace. He seems to be contemplating something when I stumble over a twig. He catches my arm and pulls me upright and calls to the other two,” Hey, let’s stop for a second!”

Ram grabs JD’s arm and brings himself and the other boy to a stop. Kurt and I make our way to them in a hurry.

“We only have a few minutes before we start.” JD huffs out. It’s obvious the running has got to him as well. Ram and Kurt seem fine.

“I know. We need to start with Veronica’s plan.” Kurt tells us.

I nod,”Alright, well we need a base area first. There’s no use splitting up if you and Ram don’t know where you need to come back to.”

“There’s one of those building things over there,” JD points off to our right.

I turn to find that he’s right. It’s small and although I know they were freshly built, they look as if they have been falling apart for years. There is only one wall that is fully built while two are partially broken down. The last wall is practically missing and will offer us no cover.

“I don’t really like it, but we’re almost out of time.” Ram pats me on the shoulder,” What do you say, brain?”

“Let’s use it. At least for now.” I decide.

JD shrugs, walking over to our temporary base,” Sounds good to me.”

Kurt, Ram, and I follow the boy into the building-if you can even call it that.

Settling down next to the boys, I take my gun off its strap and ask,” So how long should we wait until you guys come back?”

“What do you mean?” Ram asks me as he turns, stretching.

“Well, if you guys are hit and out of the game, JD and I will need to know, right?” I ask,” So, if you don’t come back after so much time then we’ll know you’re out.”

“Oh you don’t have to worry about it,” Kurt tells me,” They announce it over the intercoms as players are taken out of the game.”

“Oh,” I nod in acceptance at that,”That makes sense, I guess.” Although I’m not really sure how they know when someone is out. Maybe the zombies have phones on them or maybe there are cameras around and I just haven’t noticed them.

**BRRRRRGGGGGG**

“And that’s the dinner bell,” Ram says darkly before pausing and turning to us with a satisfied grin,”get it?’Cuz they’re zombies.”

“Yeah, we get it, buddy,” JD says unimpressed.

“I liked it,” Kurt tells him with a pat on the back.

I stifle a laugh,”Of course you did, Kurt.” It’s whispered on my part, but Kurt gives me a small glare. Whoops, too loud.

Ram gives Kurt a bright smile and Kurt’s glare disappears.

“Okay,” Ram stands up, grabbing our attention,” Kurt and I will head out and hunt down some losers and you and JD will hold down the fort. We’ll be back in about half an hour. Sound good?”

We all nod, but I’m slightly taken off guard by Ram’s leadership skills. Obviously he leads the school football team, but this is the first time I’ve seen his skills in person.

“Awesome, hands in guys,” he glances down at me,” and girl.”

JD and I look at him strangely, but follow Kurt’s lead when he stands and puts his hand on top of Ram’s. Kurt and Ram do a strange cheer that JD and I merely watch happen and we sort of follow their hand motions.

“Woo! Let’s do this!” Ram and Kurt take off, appropriately pumped up now, and leave JD and I. Catching sight of a zombie wearing the purple team’s colors, I point it out to JD who merely nods, not seeming to mind it’s presence.

The two of us settle down onto the ground once again, taking different sides of the building.

“Have you ever done this before?” he asks me.

I shake my head, slightly distracted,”Nope. You?”

“Once. I’m more familiar with real guns than these, but they can’t be too different.”

I freeze at his words. JD bringing up guns while we’re in the forest together brings me back to yesterday’s thoughts. JD could die today. It’s not about the game. It’s about keeping him safe.

With those thoughts, I bring my gun closer to me, hugging it to my chest.

JD seems to sense my unease and sends me a concerned glance. I send him back a smile, but he seems to see right through me.

“You know you don’t have to-”

A loud static interrupts him,” _ Kurt Kelly of Blue team takes out Kevin Lack of Yellow team.” _

JD and I turn to one another, surprised.

“Already?” I ask.

He shrugs, apparently as baffled as me,” Something tells me this will be a short tournament.”

The static comes again, _ ”Kurt Kelly of Blue team takes out Johnathan Gay of Yellow team.” _

There’s a burst of noise from JD and I find him with his hand covering his mouth, desperately trying to silence the laughter coming from it. I give him an odd look.

“Are you laughing at the name Johnathan Gay?” I ask.

He nods, unable to say anything from his desperate attempts to stop the laughter. He trembles with mirth and I can’t help but laugh at the boy.

_ “Garth James of Red team takes out Tiffany Fields of Yellow team.” _

“Do you think the Red team has found Kurt and Ram?” I ask JD.

He adjusts his position to look around the wall behind me,” I’m not sure. Maybe they split up like we did. For all we know, Kurt and Ram could be miles away from anyone on the Red team.”

“Or they could be shooting at the last member on the Yellow team  _ and _ the entire Red team.” I reply. I adjust my grip on my gun, setting it on my knee.

JD scrutinizes me for a moment,” Usually you look on the bright side. Well, brightish side. What gives?”

I take a moment to respond,”Just worried about them.” And you.

“Right,” by his tone, I can tell he doesn’t believe me.

We sit in silence for a while and there’s no more static so I take it that there wasn’t a showdown between Kurt and Ram and the Red team. It also seems that the last Yellow team member was never tagged. 

“I think I know that name,” JD interrupts our silence with quiet words.

I turn to him in confusion,”What name?”

“Garth James,” He looks to be contemplating,” I don’t know why, but I know the name.”

“I’ve never heard it before,” I inform him. At least I don’t think I’ve ever heard the name before, ” Wh-”   
JD jumps slightly, causing me to pause. He looks at me and tilts his head toward the the area I currently have my back to. I slowly adjust myself so that I can look behind the wall and still stay hidden. I can hear JD moving behind me, but I don’t bother to turn around and see what he’s doing. I’m too busy trying to find whatever spooked him.

“There’s two,” JD’s soft voice pops up next to my ear,” One is behind the tree to your north, hiding. The other is coming around our building. I don’t know if they know we’re here or if they’re just checking the building. Either way, get ready to shoot when they show up.”

I nod at JD’s words so he knows I’m listening. I take a quick peek around the wall to see if I can find the person behind the tree and to my surprise, I can see an elbow sticking out with a color that almost blends into the leaves.

“Green team,” I whisper to JD. Seeing him nod, I turn back around and settle to the floor. I lay down as much as I possibly can and watch as JD settles in a corner, propping the gun up, ready to shoot.

A body suddenly trots into the room and I lift my gun to shoot when JD jerks his body over and slams my gun down,”Zombie,” he hisses.

I lower my gun, realising he’s right. The zombie isn’t even wearing colors for the green team. He’s wearing colors for the purple team. It could be the same one I saw earlier, but I can’t be sure.

The zombie smirks at us and walks away, seemingly satisfied with himself. 

I shake my head angrily. JD sighs and sits up, his gun left in the corner.

Shuffling catches my attention and I look up to find a patch of green in my vision. The girl in front of me lifts her gun to shoot, but I have mine up and the paintball out before she’s done lifting hers.

“Damnit!” She screeches. 

_ “Veronica Sawyer of Blue team takes out Julia Wheat of Green team.” _

“Woah,” JD whispers in awe,” Nice.”

“Thanks,” I say,” But there’s another one.”

_ “Jenny Hash of Green team has shot a zombie. She’s out.” _

Julia, who has not yet left our presence lets out a small yell of anger,” Jenny! You idiot.” She stomps out and JD and I exchange a look of confusion. We follow the girl out, finding her yelling at her teammate who I can only assume is Jenny. A zombie stands next to her with green paint on it’s chest as she looks down in shame. The same zombie that barged into our building just a second ago actually.

“I’m sorry, Julia.” The small, blonde says. This must be who was behind the tree.

I’m not sure what drives me to do it, but I find myself sticking up for the girl,”Hey, calm down. It’s just a friendly game of paintball.” Maybe it’s because she reminds me of McNamara when she’s nervous. Grabbing at her hands and shuffling her feet, looking small and tiny.

Julia turns on me then,” I think you should mind your business,” She shoves her finger into my chest and I shove her hand away from me.

“And I think you should get your damn finger away from me,” I hiss the words at her. I’m not sure what it is about this girl that pisses me off so much, but she’s definitely on my shit list. 

She scoffs,” How dare you!” the dark haired girl stomps off in anger, leaving JD and I with her teammate.

“Th-Thank you,” The girl stutters out to me.

I shrug her thanks off,” Don’t worry about it. She was being a bitch,” I pause, realising that those two are probably friends and even if I don’t like her, I shouldn’t insult the girl’s friend,” Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

She shakes her head,” No, it’s okay. My cousin and I have never gotten along. I’m just here because she needed someone else on the team. I’m… not very good at this.”

“Well,” I try to cheer her up,” You got the zombie. Better than nothing.”

“I.. don’t think so,” She tells me. Which, yeah she’s right. It’s not,” Great. I get to mess all this up and next sit in a car for hours thinking about how I messed up. At least I’ll be home afterwards…”

I feel my brow rise,”What do you mean? You don’t live here?”

She shakes her head,” No, I live a bit away. I told Julia I would help her though,” She sighs dramatically,” You think that’s crazy? I heard someone came all the way from Kentucky.”

JD makes a noise that startles me. I turn to find him pale, very pale. 

“JD?” I ask.

“Well, I need to go. Thank again,” The girl, Jenny, informs us before jogging away in the direction of her cousin.

That was probably the strangest encounter of the day.

_ “Garth James of Red team takes out Miles Young of Orange team.” _

A hand on my shoulder brings my attention back to JD.

“That name. Garth James,” He swallows,” I know why I know it.”

I put my hand on his,”JD, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I used to live in Kentucky, Veronica.” He whispers. His eyes stare into mine, imploring me to understand,” The kid I hurt lived in Kentucky.”

My eyes widen at his words,” Oh….OH.”

I really hope I'm wrong, but something tells me this guy didn't come all the way from Kentucky just for a paintball game.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have a Kurt POV before switching back to Veronica.


	19. It's Just a Game (part 2)

**Kurt POV**

 

“Dude, Veronica totally took down that chick!” Ram and I raise our hands for a quick high five only to be interrupted by a rustling sound. Ram grabs his gun and raises it to shoot whoever comes out.

Ha. Comes out. I did that.

Ram gives me a harsh look and I stop my quiet chuckling. Raising my gun as well, we find the rustling coming from behind a bush. We look to each other and nod, silently acknowledging the plan we had made earlier. Ram goes one way and I go the other, hoping to catch the idiot making all the noise.

“Hah!” I raise my gun inches from someone’s chest, only to realize that it’s a zombie, not a player.

“Damn zombies!” Ram hisses, kicking a large rock on the ground in anger. There’s a gasp of pain from him as he leans down to grasp his foot. Rock must have really hurt.

The zombie laughs, openly mocking him. It really pisses me off so I lunge at him, growling, trying to scare him off. The zombie jumps back and looks like he might have pissed his pants.

Laugh at Ram and that’s what you get.

“That’s like the sixth we’ve seen,” I mumble, walking away from the zombie. Ram follows after me, hissing out words that his father wouldn’t approve of him saying.

“I know. I’m getting sick of them real quick,” Ram pouts. I hate that I have to keep myself from smiling at that.

I hum in agreement before picking up my speed slightly. Ram and I don’t speak for a while after that. We had decided that we should try our best to be as quiet as possible when we can. Not that we’d been able to follow that stupid plan very well. We did last for a good five or six minutes in silence until Ram stuttered out some words. Which was weird because the guy never does that.

“So, uh, do you like-” Ram struggles for a second, turning to stare at me,” Are you into Veronica or something?”

I give him a weird look,” Um. No.” I’m into you, idiot.

“Oh,” He looks away from me,” Well I guess I just thought you might be into her. I know you like guys and girls so…”

I watch him as he trails off. There’s no judgement in his words when he talks about my sexuality as always, but there’s something off with him.

“Why did you think I liked her?” I ask, genuinely curious.

His eyes slide over to meet mine for just a moment before he focuses back on the surrounding trees,” You guys are always hanging out,” He gives a small shrug,” You haven’t tried to screw her so I thought you might really like her or… something.”

His words don’t really make sense to me, but I try to make him understand my relationship with Veronica,” Vee and I, we’re good friends. She’s… kind of like the little sister I always wanted. She helped me figure out I like guys and…. She’s just… family.”

Looking over, I find Ram nodding very slowly. I don’t know why, but he looks a lot more relaxed now. A small part of me hopes that maybe, just maybe, it’s because I don’t have feeling for Veronica, but the smart part of me as Ronnie calls it, knows better.

“You okay?” I ask.

He nods,” I’m fine.”

There are those words again.  _ ‘I’m fine.’ _ Veronica said them to me once. She wasn’t fine.

“You sure?” I don’t want to let it go.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” But he does.

So I leave it. Veronica eventually let me in. So will Ram.

 

* * *

 

**Veronica’s POV**

 

“You think he’s here for you.” It’s not a question. We’re both thinking it.

“It would be one hell of a coincidence if he wasn’t,” JD replies sarcastically.

Since our meeting with the girls from the Green team, we’ve gone back to the small building we call a base and have taken shelter to discuss Garth James.

I watch JD as he nervously shakes his leg up and down. His gun that is propped up on said leg jerks with the motion. Slowly, I reach over to the boy, putting my hand on his knee. He looks at my hand in confusion at first, only stopping the shaking when I give him a small squeeze.

“Maybe we should just leave. Shoot a zombie and be done,” I suggest. I hope he’ll take the out, but something in my gut tells me he won’t.

He shakes his head,” No. No, way! We promised Kurt and Ram that we would try to win.”

I sigh, letting go of my friend and settling back into my corner the building. Of course this stubborn ass is going to keep playing.

“Alright, fine.” I mumble. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but I had hoped JD might just listen to my suggestion.

“We should go look for him,” JD announces, standing.

I feel my eyes widen in shock,” Woah, wait. We told Kurt and Ram we’d wait for them.

JD huffs in annoyance,” We’re not doing any good just sitting here. We made so much noise with those two girls and their yelling that I’m sure we’ve scared off anybody that might be around.”

He has a point, but I still find myself shaking my head at his words. I can’t protect him nearly as well if we’re running around blindly through the woods.

“We promised Kurt and Ra-”

_ “Garth James of Red team takes out Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney of Blue team.” _

JD looks to me in shocked horror and I’m sure my expression matches his.

“Well,” I say slowly,” We might need to actually make our way somewhere else now.”

JD nods quickly,” Yeah… I think that’s a good idea.”

There’s a small quiver in his voice and suddenly I’m struck with a terrible fear. Kurt and Ram were supposed to take out everyone so I could protect JD. Now I have to run around in a forest filled with other competitors while trying to make sure my friend doesn’t die. Oh God. JD could still very easily die today. Why didn’t I plan this out more? Why did I think that I would be able to protect him on my own? What’s wrong with me?

“Veronica,” JD’s soft voice brings me out of my thoughts. He has a scared look on his face and I find myself looking behind me for an intruder. 

There’s no one.

JD takes a hesitant step towards me and grabs my shoulder gently,” It’s okay, Veronica.”

It’s only then that I notice I’m shaking. I try to tell him I’m okay. That it’s my anxiety, but I can’t get anything out. Instead, a small, dry sob escapes from my throat. I cringe at the noise.

“C’mere Ronnie,” HIs voice is still gentle as he opens his arms up. I take a step forward and wrap my arms around him. I’m very aware that this might be the last hug I ever give him, so I hold tight. 

“Sorry,” I manage.

I don’t see it because I’ve closed my eyes, but I can feel him shake his head. He whispers more comforting words to me and it reminds me so much of the past timeline when he held me as Mac and Duke spread terrible lies about me, Kurt , and Ram.

I love all of them, but JD… he always protected me. He did it the wrong way, but he still wanted to protect me. It’s my turn. And I’ll do it the right way.

I slowly lean away from his grip and thank him quietly.

“It’s okay,” he takes a step forward with a smirk and ruffles my hair,” Now let’s kick some ass, Sawyer.”

 

* * *

 

“We’ve been out here for almost an hour and somehow, we’ve only managed to shoot two people between us.” JD grunts at my words.

The game is coming to a close with only three teams remaining and my apprehension only rises with every sound I hear from the woods. JD had shot the last member of the Orange team, who is surprisingly the only person we’ve encountered since we left to roam the forest.

“There’s not many left,” he whispers.

It’s true. We, along with two from Yellow team and Garth James, are the only ones left in the game. I’m waiting for the moment the Red team member strikes.

“One of them is Garth,” I mumble in his direction.

JD cast a look my direction before scanning the surrounding area. He stops walking, making me do the same.

“What are y-” he shushes me, holding up a hand for silence.

Closing my mouth quickly, I lift my gun in preperation. We sit in silence for

“You hear that?” he asks. 

“Heat what?” Whatever he’s apparently heard, I can’t hear myself.

“Sounds like-”

_ “Garth James of Red team takes out Beth Pond of Yellow team.” _

“-Shooting.” JD finishes.

“We found them?” I ask.

He nods at me,” We found them.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be updating in a while. I'm 16 and my father has passed. I'm terribly distraught and lost so my apologies for this unedited chapter. I'll be offline for a good while.


	20. It's Just a Game (part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD gets fucking wrecked

**Mac POV**

 

Just as Veronica asked, I made sure to keep the other two with me during the tournament. Ronnie was pretty sure that JD was the first to be targeted, but still didn’t want to take any chances. 

“Do you think the tournament is almost over?” Heather asks me.

“Why? Worried about your girlfriend?” Heather snarks. 

Her words makes Heather’s face heat up, almost making it match her scrunchie. It makes me giggle.

The glare aimed at Dukey softens slightly at my laugh. Those two have always been so silly, always pretending not to care about each other. 

I don’t know what I would do without them.

“Hey,” I call out,” I’ll be right back.”

Heather gives look that I would almost call concern (It’s usually reserved for Ronnie) and Heather smiles, but when she notices Heather smirking at her it drops.

I make my way up the stairs quickly, my feet barely touching the stair I’m on before moving to the next one. It’s no wonder I had so many accidents on them when I was younger. 

I find the hourglass hidden in the back of my closet and set it on the table next to my bed. It’s running low. Too low. There’s not many pieces left in the top. Six or seven maybe. I don’t think it’s actually physically possible for the sand to stay there for as long as it’s been there, but oh well. Ronnie says it’s magic sand so maybe it  _ does _ make sense?

A sigh finds it’s way past my lips, “Please be careful, Ronnie. And keep JD safe.”

  
  
  


**Veronica POV**

  
  


It happens fast and I’m found caught off guard. A red  **_splat_ ** hits the branch to my left and JD pulls me against him behind the tree.

“Okay!” He has an odd mixture of excitement and fear on his face,” I’m gonna try to lead him away and you take out the Yellow guy.”

He turns to pull away, but I somehow manage to grab his sleeve with my frantically waving arms,”Woah, dude! What happened to you fearing your safety? You can’t just go-”

Another paintball speeds past us, startling me away from the boy. He takes this as an opening and sprints off to the left, calling out to the last Red Team member.

“Hey, idiot! Come on!”  _ You _ are the idiot Jason Dean. Even after the discussion we had about trying to keep him safe from Garth, he tries to be the hero.

I try to shoot at the red vest that chases after JD, but end up missing.

“Shit!” Okay Veronica. Don’t panic. You have to find him. 

I push off the tree, readying myself for a fight if I need to when another paintball hits the tree to my right. Yellow this time. Jesus, can none of these people aim?

A curse causes me to glance at the young boy crouched behind a small boulder that barely comes up to his chest. 

I move from behind the tree and aim at the boy,” I really don’t even give a shit about this tournament anymore.” I fire multiple angry shots at the guy until I hear a pained shout.

“Ow! OKay, you hit me! Stop already!” The boy crawls away from the rock and gives me an angry glare.

I ignore him and drop the gun from my hands. Turning, I spot the direction that JD and Garth ran to and take off as quickly as my legs will let me. I stumble over a few bushes and twigs, but there’s a path already destroyed that I can only assume the two boys made that makes it slightly less terrible to run through.

At some point I hear the speakers announce that the last member of Yellow Team was taken out, but I ignore it in favor of yelling for my friend.

“JD! Where the hell are you!” There’s a moment of silence before I hear him call back. He’s close.

“Veronica! I’m over here!” He’s somewhere to my left.

“Keep yelling JD!” I’m desperately trying to get to him before Garth can find him.

“Don’t worry Ronnie! Got this under control!” I can practically hear the smirk in his voice,” No way are we gonna lose to-Wauhh!” His scream sends a flare of panic through me.

“JD!” the scream tears through my throat and out my mouth.

I tear through the last large bush to see JD grappling with the Red Team’s last member by a small cliff. JD pushes at Garth’s face with one hand and uses the other to make a grab at his arms. I rush over to the two, scraping at the other boy’s arms, trying to get him away from JD. It takes me a moment, but using JD and I’s combined strength, we finally get Garth off of him.

Garth offers a mere shove in retaliation and I almost sigh in relief until I hear JD’s small gasp. Turning, I find that Garth’s seemingly harmless shove has knocked JD back. He slips and it only takes him a moment to stumble back toward the cliff. A strangled cry releases past my lips as I make a grab for him. He’s falling. I manage to grab onto his legs, but the top half of his body swings until a small crack is heard. He goes limp. He’s hit his head on something, but I’m not sure what it was.

He slowly starts to slip and I hold tighter. He’s still slipping, but slower. I can’t pull him up alone, but maybe I can ease him down the cliff side. I chance a small glance over the cliff and realize that is not  _ nearly _ as small as I had thought. Letting him go could very easily result in him dying.

Taking a small peak over the edge once again, I notice that it must have been a rock that JD hit. Fuck.

“Hold on, JD.I’ll figure this out,” But even as I say the words, he slips just a tad more. I can feel tears well up in my eyes as I struggle to hold onto the boy. He’s about the fall from my grip. I can feel it.

Except he doesn’t. Instead, another set of hands grabs onto my friend’s leg. Garth is grabbing JD and telling me,” Pull on three, okay?”

Dumbfounded, I nod and pull on his command.

We struggle for several minutes, but eventually we pull JD back up onto the ground. I’m sweating by the time we get him situated. I glance up at Garth, only to find him staring at JD in shock. Sensing my gaze, he finds my eyes.

“I didn’t mean for any of that. I just wanted to scare him,” I don’t want to believe him. I want to be angry. Angry that I almost lost one of my best friends. But he’s staring at me so sincerely that I can’t help it when the anger leaves me,”I may be a dick, but I’m no killer.”

“I believe you,” I say lowly.

He nods, standing. He whispers a quick ‘sorry’ before grabbing his fallen gun and running off.

I watch him leave, only barely aware of the tears slowly falling down my cheeks. 

“MMRonica?” JD is bleary eyed and staring at me. Crawling towards him, I gently push back his hair and frantically ask if he’s okay. He tries to answer me, but my roaming hands stop him. I look for any damage to his body, thinking back to the terrible crunch from when he fell.

Suddenly, I spot a blotch of red. My mind turns off as I start babbling about blood and even when JD’s hands reach up to reassure me, it doesn’t help. The tears come down harder and I’m just blubbering at this point. JD pulls himself up even though he seems to be out of it and pulls me into a hug. 

It takes a few moments, but I eventually calm myself. Pulling out of his grip, I pull at his shirt. He tries to pull away, but I hold tight.

“You’re bleeding,” Is what I offer at his confused gaze.

He glances down at his shirt and suddenly lets out a bark of laughter,” He shot me, Ronnie.”

My mind blanks for a moment before I realize his meaning. Garth had… red paintballs. He shot JD. Not with a  _ gun _ gun. A paintball gun. JD is okay. JD is not bleeding. JD is alive.

“Oh,” It’s quiet as it comes out of my mouth. Like a small, scared child,”I heard a crack. When you fell I mean.”

JD rubs at the back of his head,” Yeah, that was my gun, Ronnie. I mean, I hit my head on the gun, but I’m good. Really, my heads fine. The gun though…. Pretty sure it’s broken into pieces at the bottom of that cliff. Think we’ll have to pay for it?”

I give him another once over just to make sure he’s really okay. When I decide that he is indeed fine, I pull him into a bone crushing hug. JD wraps his arms around me once more, but this time I don’t pull away. 

JD is okay. JD is alive.

Eventually, JD whispers into my ear,” I think you saved my life Ronnie.”

JD is alive. I saved him.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody. It's been a while, but have no fear, this fic will eventually be finished one day and has not been stopped. I just needed a break. A very big break.
> 
> I'd also like to say thank you for waiting so long and for all your condolences. It's very appreciated :)


	21. Ronnie Messes Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time flies when you don't watch the clock

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

My gaze stays on the words in front of me, refusing to look at her. I can’t stand looking at any of them, knowing that I could lose them.

We sit in silence for what seemed like hours, but was probably only thirty or so seconds before Duke pulls the chair out from across me. It makes a horrible screeching sound as it slides across the floor and I can’t help the grimace that overcomes my face. She must catch the look because she lets out a dark bark of laughter.

I sigh, finally lifting my eyes from my book. Duke is already staring at me when our eyes meet. She crosses her arms in irritation and raises an eyebrow, as if she’s inviting me to speak first.

“No. I don’t want to talk about it.” I keep my reply short and simple.

Duke gives a shake of her head before she speaks again,” Everyone is worried about you.”

Her words don’t surprise me. I refused to talk to anyone after the paintball incident. It’s been three days and I still can’t seem to shake the constant anxiety that has been following me around. Everytime I blink I hear the sharp noise of what I had thought was JD’s head smashing against a rock. It’s not the most soothing sound.

“Don’t be. I’m fine.” I try to go back to my book, but hands snatch it right from under me.

“You aren’t. Quit trying to act like it’s okay. Your friend almost died and you’re freaking the hell out about it.” It’s said with a glare as she tosses my book to the floor. She gets a withering glance from a librarian as I stand to grab it from the ground.

“Okay. Fine. Let’s talk about it Duke.” I pick the novel up and set it in the middle of the table,” I watched a stranger shove one of my best friends off of a cliff and I was forced to desperately latch onto his unconscious body so he didn’t fucking  _ die. _ ”

I practically spit the words out, but not once does Duke’s expression change from her blank look. My breaths come a bit quicker than they should and the tears I can feel burning are definitely noticeable. I try to compose myself, but it takes a few minutes. Duke merely watches me as I silently try to collect myself.

I eventually get my breathing back to normal and sit across from my friend once more.

“Sorry,” I whisper to her.

She watches me for a few more moments before speaking,”Do you feel better?”

I nod my head,” Yes.”

“Then don’t apologize. That’s why they sent me.” She must see my confused look at her words because she continues,” We all thought you needed to get that out. Seemed logical for it to be me. I’m great at being a bitch.”

“You’re not a bitch.” 

“Yes I am.” She rolls her eyes at me in an almost playful way.

I smile for the first time in days,” Yeah, okay. You’re a bit of a bitch.”

She seems to be surprised at the grin that sits on my face because it takes her a moment to respond,” Good thing you like bitches.”

She chuckles to herself, seeming to find her joke hilarious. I shake my head fondly, wondering how I could have ever thought this dork was scary.

“So, Ronnie,” Duke gives me a small smirk,” Now that you seem to be having normal human emotions again…. What about that date?”

Date? I’m not sure what she’s talking about. Surely she isn’t… No way. Duke is one of my best friends! And she’s with Mac! 

“Duke, I really appreciate the offer, but I’m just not into you like…” I trail off as I see her incredulous expression.

“Wow,” She says slowly,” First off, I’m offended you wouldn’t go on a date with me. Second, I meant your date with your girlfriend… Dumbass.”

She scoffs quietly when my face heats up in embarrassment. Right. Of course. I asked Duke to help me plan a date with Chandler.

“I-I sorta forgot about it.”

“Obviously.” She laughs at me, but her smile in kind instead of mocking like I expected.

There’s a brief moment of silence between us before she decides to speak up once again,”She’s worried about you. We all are.” 

There’s genuine sadness on her face and it hurts me. I know I fucked up by ignoring them, but I couldn’t help it. I knew the first possible death would affect me, but not as bad as it has.

“Look Ronnie,” She grabs for my hand sitting on the table,” You helped me with my…. Problem. Let me help you like you helped me. The boys are throwing a party since you won the tournament. Let’s go tonight. We’ll get ready together and have a fun night. Maybe we’ll plan that date too.”

Part of me wants to cry and thank her for the uncharacteristic show of kindness, but another part wants to scream at her. Part of me wants to scream that this isn’t something like getting over an eating disorder. That until she traveled back in time to save her friends lives and was suddenly friends with Time she wouldn’t be able to understand or help.

Instead, I smile lightly and agree,” Sure. My place?”

 

* * *

  
  


I refused to let Duke put me in one of her dresses so she instead settled for merely doing my makeup. I didn’t bother to check myself in the mirror before I left, trusting Duke to make sure I looked nice.

There was a part of me that wanted to impress Chandler, but for the most part, I just can’t find it in me to care. It will most likely be like this for a while. At least that’s how it was in the other timeline. Depressive episodes are what my mother would call them. The ghosts of my friends just called me a pussy. True story. 

“Don’t put that face on now! We just got here,” Duke says opening the door to Ram’s house. 

I try a quick smile, but it turns into a grimace as soon as a putrid smell hits my nose.

“Oh god!” I exclaim,”What is that?”

Duke’s nose is scrunched up as well so I know it can’t be me imagining things. She shrugs slightly in confusion before grabbing my hand and leading me to the kitchen. 

Before we can get there, we’re met with a familiar face as Kurt almost runs right into us as he’s leaving the room. He starts grumbling an apology before he notices that I’m standing behind Duke.

“Vee! Omg you’re here!” Did this grown boy just say omg?

Before I can ask him this serious question, he crushes me into a deep hug. I try to wiggle my way out of his arms at first, but quickly realize it’s useless. I sigh and rest my head on the taller boy’s chest.

“I’m so glad you’re here! We all thought you wouldn’t come and then JD spilled alcohol everywhere and Heather has been sooo pissed ‘cuz she misses you.” I slowly take in his words as I step out of his grip.

At least I have an answer to what that awful smell was earlier. Poor JD probably got it in his trench coat.

“Please. Heather is always pissed.” Duke interjects.

Kurt barks out a loud laugh in my face and I catch a whiff of what I think might be vodka.

‘Where is everyone?” I ask.

Kurt points somewhere behind him,” Backyard. There ended up being a bit more people than we thought so Ram shoved everyone outside. Said he didn’t want anything broken.”

“Wait,” I shoot an accusatory look at Duke,” I thought it was just gonna be us.”

She blinks for a moment,” No? I told you it was a party, Veronica.”

She speaks slowly as if I have something wrong with me and it pisses me off. I try to cool down when I realize that she  _ had _ told me it was a party. I just  _ assumed  _ it would be our little group. 

“Right,” I snap,” My bad.”

I can tell Duke is confused at my sudden irritation, but I really can’t seem to control my emotions lately. 

Kurt seems to sense the tension in the air and takes my hand in his,”Let’s get something to drink, Vee. Duke, c’mon.”

He drags me down the hall and even though I’ve only ever been here twice, I can he’s taking us the backyard.

By the time we get there, I’ve taken my hand back and settled next to Duke. I keep shooting her quick glances, hoping she understands that I’m trying to apologize.

“Here,” Kurt offers us both a red cup,” I made it myself. I call it… Vodka Slime!”

I take a glance at the drink and decide right then that I’ll be sober for the rest of the night. I hand the cup back to him,”Sorry Kurt. That look disgusting.”

He looks a bit hurt, but beams as soon as he sees Duke down the nasty substance.

“You’re gross,” I tell her.

She hums in response, tossing her empty cup in the trash and taking my previous cup from Kurt’s grip and putting it back in mine.

“It’s good. I promise.” She smirks at my disbelieving look. 

I glance at Kurt and he nods in encouragement.

“Fine.” I chug the drink and I have to admit, it looks disgusting, but it’s actually delicious.

“Whooo! Let’s party!” Kurt screams and although I want to be annoyed, it’s actually endearing. 

“Let’s party!” I yell to noone in particular.

Duke laughs at me as she grabs my wrist, pushing her way through the backyard.

Maybe it’s time I actually had fun. 

 

* * *

  
  


**Mac POV**

 

It takes me thirty minutes to find Kurt in this giant crowd.

“Have you seen Veronica?” I ask the boy desperately.

He looks significantly less sober than the last time I saw him.

“Not lately! Hey, have you seen Ram? I misss hi-” I walk away from the boy, hoping he won’t think I’m being too rude, but I don’t have time for any of this.

I assumed Ronnie would have been watching the latest countdown and just hadn’t said anything to me because, well, she hasn't been talking to  _ anyone. _

When Duke told me Ronnie was going to the party I thought it was part of her plan to keep an eye on everyone since all of us were going to be there, but then I found that stupid note while I was getting ready. 

 

**_Time flies when you don’t watch the clock._ **

**_I’m terribly afraid that if you aren’t careful_ **

**_you’ll lose someone tonight. Our dear_ **

**_Veronica doesn’t even seem to realize._ **

**_-Time_ **

 

Part of me is hoping that Veronica has some big plan that she’s been hiding, but I don’t think that’s the reality. One of our friends are in danger and Ronnie doesn’t even know.

Oh God, please let me find her in time.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like this chapter :/


	22. Party Fowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you would like an update on the story, I've given one in the notes :)

I’m not sure how I got here, but I’m sure as hell not complaining. I have a suspicion that Duke somehow planned this so she could sneak off and meet with Mac. I’m not sure whether I should be insulted that she wanted to ditch me or proud that she somehow got Chandler and I alone.

“Are you okay?” She asks, breaking off the kiss.

I furrow my brow in confusion and she laughs at the sight. It’s soft and not at all like her usual, spiteful one.

“You were frowning.” Heather explains.

I shake my head,”Just thinking.”

She pulls my head down to claim a quick kiss,”Well how about less of that and more of…” She takes my hand and very slowly lowers it to her thigh,” This.”

I must look like an idiot with my mouth wide open in shock, but she keeps her dark gaze on me with nothing but want.

Slowly, I nod before reconnecting out lips once again. I can smell the alcohol on her breath, but there’s also a sweet vanilla that makes its way to my nose as I occasionally gasp for tiny breaths of air.

My hand starts to move higher when we hear the door slam open. Chandler jumps in shock and knocks me into the floor. I groan slightly in pain as I hear Heather murmur apologies.

“Ronnie!” A hand grasps my elbow and pulls me up. I catch a glimpse of yellow, but I’m mostly focused on Heather’s angry voice.

“Mac, are you serious right now?”

“Sorry, but I really need to talk to Ronnie right now!”

I’m yanked away from the bed that I’ve attempted to lean on to regain my balance and am taken into a different room entirely.

“Mac, what has-”

She swiftly cuts me off,” Have you been watching it?”

I blink slowly, still slightly tipsy, not quite understanding what she’s asking me.

“The sand, Ronnie!” She wails helplessly.

Sand? Sand. Oh the sand!

“Not really.” I shrug nonchalantly. I’m not really sure why she’s freaking out right now and I can feel myself getting annoyed. I could be getting to next base with Heather freaking Chandler in the next room over instead of here.

Mac looks at me incredulously,”What’s wrong with you? It’s running out!”

For a moment there, Mac’s face reminds me of Duke’s every time she’s been above a toilet in my presence and I wonder if she’s about to be sick all over my shoes. Talk about deja vu. Or maybe karma. Or maybe the bitches are working together and are both fucking with me.

“Don’t know why you’re freaking. It took like a month for the first one.” I explain to her slowly.

She grits her teeth,” Well this isn’t the first one, Ronnie. I got a letter,” She reaches down her shirt and pulls a crumpled piece of paper out,” Time said something was going to happen tonight.”

My brain tries to comprehend all her words, but it sticks like taffy and instead focuses on one thing in particular,” Did you pull that out of your bra?”

Her face blanks for a second before becoming the most angry I’ve ever seen it,”This isn’t a joke, Veronica! It’s- I-Are you drunk?”

“No!” I defend loudly,” I’m not-Maybe a bit tipsy, but-No, I’m not drunk.”

She eyes me strangely and I decide that I don’t like the way she’s watching me. It reminds me too much of how my mother looked at me after everything with JD and the others.

“Look, Mac. That can’t be right,” I point at the slip of paper,” He said that there would be clues that would help me figure out who it would be next and there hasn’t been any.”

“You haven’t even been talking to us, Ronnie! How would you even have time to look for them when you’re avoiding us?”

I try to think of something else to defend myself when I finally start to realize exactly what she’s saying. I chose to let Mac in and help me, just like Time suggested, but here I am trying to ignore her when she’s obviously trying to help me.

“Okay,” I breathe out slowly,” What exactly are you trying to tell me, Mac?”

She huffs irritatedly and hands me the paper.

“Wait, seriously, did this touch your bo-”

“Please just read it.”

I take a quick glance at the bottom and find the signature from Time first. I have to read the letter twice to make sure it said exactly what I thought it said.

“Right.” I gulp down the lump in my throat. That’s one way to help someone sober up.

“What do we do?” She asked me desperately.

I think for a moment, my brain still going slightly slower than I’d like. If we can just find the others in the crowd of drunk teenagers then we can protect them somehow. There’s the issue of keeping them together though. There’s the even bigger issue of not knowing who to look out for this time. God, I’m an idiot.

“Okay, Mac.” She looks up at me with wide eyes,” You’re going to do this for me. Go tell Chandler to stay in the bedroom. She should still be in there. Then you need to go find Kurt and Ram. They should be together still. Take them to Chandler and you stay there with them. Don’t let anyone leave.”

She watches me with scared, but determined eyes and nods at the end of every sentence.

“Are you going to get Dukey and JD?” Her lip trembles at Duke’s name. She’s scared to lose her tonight.

I nod and tell her confidently,” Yes, I’ll find them, Mac. I promise.”

Her lips lift into a smile, but it turns to a frown just a quickly,” Wouldn’t it be better to just make everyone besides all of us leave?”

“And have a bunch of drunk idiots driving and stumbling around town? Probably not.”

She nods, but still doesn’t seem pleased.

“Okay, let’s do this.” She determinedly puts her hand in the air between us. I watch her in obvious confusion.

“Go team?” She asks as she slightly lifts her hand up.

I groan slightly at her awkwardness before setting my palm on top of her hand. We both lift them up, but only Mac utters the words. She looks pleased with herself though.

 

* * *

  
  


JD was easy to find. He had been standing against the fence by the pool, desperately trying to get away from the couple making out two feet away from him. Convincing him to leave the backyard and make his way upstairs to the others was even easier.

Duke, however, has been much harder to find. I vaguely recall her saying something about getting more of Kurt’s vodka slime before she left me alone with Heather, but apparently no one has seen her in awhile. Now, I’m sure drunk teenagers don’t have the best memories, but surely someone has had to have seen her recently.

“Heyyy, Vrronica,” Loud, slurred words interrupt my thoughts.

“Oh, hi…” I’m not sure who he is, but he seems innocent enough.

“Heard you were lookin fer Heather. Green one?” He squints his eyes slightly as if imagining the girl in question,”Yeah, green. Saw ‘er go with Brock whatshisname.”

My eyebrow raises in surprise. I can’t remember the last time Duke hooked up with a random guy. She seemed dedicated to get this.. Thing… with Mac right.

“Brock who?” I can’t really place the name.

“Mmm. Don’t know? He’s a big fuckin dick though. She didn’t like ‘em too much.”

I blink slowly at his words, processing. Surely he doesn’t mean… These people wouldn’t just let her go with him if he… No, of course they would. I’m surrounded by morons that could care less what happened to each other as long as they get their alcohol.

“Where did they go?” I grab his shoulder when he goes to turn away. He stumbles from the direction change, but still offers a small wave toward the shed.

I nod my thanks, but he’s too out of it to notice. I sprint my way across the large yard to the small building.

I grab the knob to the shed door and turn, but it’s locked. Shit shit shit. Wait- bobby pin!

I yank the small piece of metal from my hair and quickly break it in half before shoving the two pieces into the lock. Thank you criminal ex- boyfriend.

The lock shifts and I finally turn the knob, halting as I hear the muffled noise coming from the back of the building. I reach along the walls with a hint of desperation, looking for a light switch. I quickly find it and light spreads across the room. On the ground is Duke, fully clothed, with a strange boy I’ve never seen straddling her. He has a knife in his hand, but it’s obvious he’s too drunk to fully process that his alone time has been interrupted.

A deep fury grows inside me as I watch Duke’s eyes light up with desperation when she spots me. The boy seems to finally grasp what's happening and slowly starts to get up. Ignoring every instinct I have that says to run in the opposite direction of the knife, I take three full steps toward him and swing my fist. There’s a small popping sound as my hand makes contact with his jaw and I’m not sure if it came from my bones or his. It wasn’t a terribly strong punch, but with his drunken state, he reels back, tripping over Duke’s feet as he goes. He lets out a pained gurgle, but I pay him no mind as I reach for Duke, pulling her up.

She wobbles, still slightly inebriated. Once she finds her footing properly, she wraps her arms around me. She starts trembling against me and in that moment I realize I’ve never hated someone as much as I hate this man right now.

“Heather,” I whisper,” Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

But that only results in a low sob being pressed into my shoulder. We stand there for a few moments, letting Duke cry into my arms. I keep an eye on the boy on the ground to make sure he doesn’t get up anytime soon.

I’m not sure how long we stayed there, but Duke eventually pulled away from me to rub at her runny nose. She rubbed any leftover snot from her hand on her skirt and I pretended not to notice. Instead, I focused on the guy once more. It was only then that I noticed the blood.

Slowly, I walked over to the boy on the ground. I didn’t dare move him as I noticed the small pool of blood becoming larger, too scared to do anything except glance at his face and notice his lifeless eyes. Lowering my gaze, I found the knife lodged into his neck.

“Oh god.” At first I thought the words came from my mouth, but looking over, I realized it had been Duke,” Is he…”

I nod after a moment,” I- Yeah. I think so.”

It’s not the first time I’ve seen a dead body, but it doesn’t ever seem to get easier. It’s not even the blood that’s bad. It’s the eyes. There’s just… nothing in them anymore.

“Oh my God. Ronnie, oh my God. What is- What do we do?”

I glance at her,” What do you mean, Duke? We call the cops. We didn’t murder him. It was self defense.”

She shakes her head vigorously,” No, you don’t understand. That’s the county sheriff’s son. He- He’ll ruin my life. He- His son is- He tried- But they’ll blame me because I had so much to drink or- Oh God….”

Duke starts crying all over again. She stops for a moment and I think that maybe she’s finally calmed down, but she gags and covers her mouth.

“I’m gonna be sick. Oh my god, Ronnie.”

I put my hand on her back and rubbed gentle circles to try to help her relax.

“Duke, we can’t just… leave his body here.” I tell her gently. She nods, but starts mumbling all over again about getting in trouble.

Duke seems to know more about the guy than I do and for some reason I can’t understand is scared that she’ll get in trouble with the the police.

“Duke, why are you scared?”

She puts her head into her hands,” There have been rumors of him doing this to girls before, but no one believed it. All the girls got in trouble instead of him. I just- I figured he didn’t really do it.”

So he gets off free because he’s the big guy in charge’s son. And Duke is scared to get in trouble. I understand that. Hell, I was terrified more than I’ll admit in the original timeline. Of course, I was technically an accomplice to a murder. Not that they knew it was a murder.

Wait. That could….No. I can’t go down that road again. But Duke… Maybe…

“We could-” I choke down the rising nerves as Duke looks up to me,” We could always make it...look like an accident?”

Duke stares at me as if she’s waiting for a punchline to a terribly told joke, but it never comes and her face scrunches in on itself,” You’re being serious, aren’t you?”

Hesitantly, I nod,” Yes. I can- I can make it go away, Duke.”

She glances around the room twice before whispering in disbelief, “You’re acting as if you’ve done this before. I hope you aren’t a secret criminal.”

I shake my head to deny it, but I know I won’t be able to lie to her. Instead, I merely mutter,” We can write a note. Make it look like a suicide.”

It’s stupid. I’ve been down this road before and I shouldn’t even be thinking about something like this, but it’s for Duke. I’d do anything to keep them all safe and if she says she isn’t safe around this guy’s father then…

“That’s… not right.” She mumbles, but there’s a dark look in her eye that makes me think she’s already made her decision.

I shrug,” Neither is forcing yourself on girls and then lying about it.”

I say it a softly as possible, not wanting to upset her.

Duke looks to the body and then back to me. There’s a small tremble on her bottom lip still,” You punched him, too. Broke his jaw from the looks of it, Ronnie. There will be questions about that. They could connect you to him”

She’s giving me a reason not to go through with it, but her eyes are begging me to do just that. It’s that look that brings back the fury from earlier. She shouldn’t be afraid of the people who are supposed to help her. If the cops won’t keep her safe, then I will.

“We’ll say he got into a fight with someone at the party.”

She nods curtly, her mind made up” Okay, Ronnie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo real talk for a minute. I just wanted to explain to everyone why I've been MIA. Some of you may remember I lost my father this past year. What I did not tell you is that my father commited suicide. I'm not telling you all this for pity points or anything, I'd just like to explain that it's deeply affected my writing lately. This fic was supposed to talk about a lot of heavy things, including suicide, and I just had to take a break before I went into anything like that. I was not in a great place for a while and when I would go to write for this story it almost always turned out way darker than I intended. It was not how I wanted the story to be so I took some time off so I could come back to this in a better state of mind and finish the story how I had originally wanted.
> 
> When people write, they put their heart and soul and emotions into their words. I love to share all of that with you guys, but there are some things I just did not want the world to see. I hope I didn't upset you guys too badly with the wait, but the chapters will be returning soon enough so fear not! We're back in business!


	23. Aftermath

They question every person that was at the party, but come up with nothing. Duke and I play dumb, saying we had too much to drink and had been with our friends for the majority of the night inside which they all later confirm. The death is ruled a suicide. Mac seems to have an inkling to what happened, but doesn’t ask about it, merely sends questioning glances every once in a while. Sometimes, she watches me with an almost scared look and I wonder what's going through her mind. Maybe I shouldn’t have even told her about it.

The school gathers us for an assembly to talk about suicide, but most of the students ignore the speaker’s words and go on with their day. It takes a week for everyone to forget about what happened. Everyone except me and my friends. I expected Duke and Mac to be affected, but for some reason, they _all_ pay attention to this death.

Ram is absolutely mortified and says he’ll never have another party again. Some of his teammates on the football team tell him he’s a pussy for letting this get to him, but Kurt is always quick to back him up. Kurt also makes it a habit to check on me randomly every once in a while. He says he just wants to make sure I’m okay. JD talks about it every time we go for slushies, saying it reminds him of what happened during the paintball tournament. If only he really knew how close he was to the truth. Martha didn’t even want to watch The Princess Bride at our last sleepover, claiming to be too shaken up. We spent the night talking instead. The Heather’s attempt a shopping trip, but Chandler is the only one who is really interested in looking for clothes. Duke is still in a strange state of shock and Mac picks up on it. I’m not sure if Duke ever told her any details from that night though.

It changed everything. Not necessarily for better or worse. There’s just been a shift in all of them and everyone seems to start to notice. Sure, the student population had noticed JD and Martha joining our strange little group at lunch every once in a while, but now they have permanent seats. It’s a bit crowded in all honesty, but it lets me press against Chandler without anyone suspecting anything and that’s nice. The rest of the cafeteria constantly watch us all now, as if they’re waiting for something big, but my friends seem to care less and less about them everyday. It isn’t something I ever expected. Not even when I wanted to do right by them all in the beginning. I never thought the Heathers would stop caring about their reputation or that JD, Kurt, and Ram would become friends. It’s all so strange, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

“Ronnie?” A small voice pulls me from my thoughts.

For a moment, I forget where I am. It isn’t until I spot Kurt practically hiding behind a bookshelf that I remember,” Isn’t being in the school library going to hurt your reputation?”

He seems slightly offended by that, shrugging his shoulders,” We couldn’t find you. Duke got worried.”

I give him a small smile that I hope looks genuine as I set my book down,” Well, I’m fine, but thank you.”

I expect him to leave when I see him pick up on the dismissive tone, but he drags himself over to my table, flopping into the chair next to me. He puts his large hand on top of my shoulder, gripping it a bit too tight.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

My brow furrows in confusion,”Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kurt grumbles irritably,” Cuz’ you’re doing that thing. You talk more proper and get all stiff.”

He squeezes my shoulder as if to prove his point. I push his hand off as gently as I can before replying,” I’m fine, Kurt. Just tired.”

His face changes then. It does that scrunchie thing that means he either doesn’t like or understand what someone says. He lets his hand fall back to his side as he leans back a bit, studying me.

“Why do people do that?” He asks,” Say they’re fine when they aren’t. You and Ram do it all the time. Isn’t it easier just to talk about it?”

I let out a long sigh as I straighten myself, realizing Kurt is here for a serious talk. I close my forgotten book and set it to the side.

“It’s okay that it bothers you, ya know?” Kurt nudges my leg with his knee in an almost playful manner.

“And what is it that’s bothering me?” I question him.

“The suicide.” He answers bluntly.

I shake my head at his words,” I didn’t know him. Besides, you guys are the ones messed up about it. Not me.”

My friend stares at me for longer than I’d like. It’s not like Kurt to think this hard when it comes to someone else, but here he is, studying me.

“You’re dumb.” He states.

For some reason that pisses me off. Kurt of all people, calling me dumb. What the hell is this? The twilight zone?  
“Right, okay,” I bite out. For some reason, my eyes sting.

The boy seems to realize he’s offended me,” No th-I meant-,” he stops for a second to gather his thoughts,” You’re like- all worried about all of us and it’s just- it’s like you don’t know that’s it’s okay for you to be upset too.”

“I’m not upset.” I’m not. I’ve seen people die before. I’ve seen Kurt die before.

“You don’t have to take care of us all the time, Vee.”

And that’s when I finally break. A small sob escapes my throat before I can try to catch it and Kurt is quick to gather me in his arms. I’m not sure why I’m always losing my shit in front of him, but he’s warm and makes me feel better, so I don’t think too hard on it. He reminds me of my old teddy bear. Safe.

“Sorry,” I try to pull away, but he grips tighter, not letting me go yet.

He releases a shaky breath,” Please don’t ever do something like that, okay? You’re just- You’re sad a lot, but I want you to talk to us if you ever-”

He doesn’t finish that sentence, but I connect the dots easily enough. It didn’t really dawn on me that they were worried about me until now. All of Mac’s scared looks make sense now that I think about it. She wasn’t afraid of me, but for me. I wonder if they’ve all been talking about my well being on the days that I hide out in the library.

“I won’t” I mumble into his now wet shoulder.

“Promise?”

“Promise, Kurt.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all very sweet. Thanks for the kind words :)
> 
> We've had a whole lot of angst lately so the next chapter will be a bit fluffy.
> 
> This story will also probably be finished sooner than you think/
> 
>  
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested, I just uploaded an original work with humor heavily influenced by this fic. It's a text fic that is inspired by something that happened to me in real life. If you'd check it out, I'd really appreciate it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Just so everyone is aware this will be a slow burn romance for ChanSaw, but the attraction will be there early enough on. Veronica will just be very busy with the whole 'keeping her friends alive' thing.


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